My strange sense of humor

The Monkey

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around
the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them.
Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the
billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's
amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your
monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats
everything in sight, the little idiot. Sorry. I'll pay for
everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill,
pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey
is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and
eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it
out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still
eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that
cue ball, he measures everything first."

thanks bw :)

Quincy Verdun Show

various behinds - raspootin should try for more flattering candid shots... oh well good thing she had control of the camera

Picture of the artist and his culinary chef friend; raspootin needs to write peoples names down to remember.


Another extremely flattering shot taken by raspootin. Raspootin is hoping round about this time that no one else had a camera...


The artists friends and family - oh no raspootin sees that guy back there with the camera; hope there are no retaliation shots...


back gallery Quincy with his sister (make note again to write down names) with mr sutton in the back ground hard at work selling his stuff at the other guy's show; all is fair in love, war and the art business.


Group shot!!!
Leon(quincy's brother - youngest) "______" oldest brother Quincy "______" middle brother and "_____" sister. Dont ask raspootin why she remembered Leon's name. She must just have a selective memory when it comes to good looking dark haired men! By the by Leon's Wife "_____" damn can't remember her name was one of the best ladies rapsootin has met in a long time :)

Galerie Royale did not sell anything but we went through a case of wine so I know that at the very least everyone had a splendid time.

Take a look at Quincy's work and if ya tell me you saw it here I will give you the raspootin special friend price :) hahaha

yes life is full of unpleasant little surprises...

I was told that I should write a little something with this post. Why the picture? Because the look on that little boy's face reminds me of my how my Dad would look at me or my brother and sister whenever our hands got even near our noses. We would be "daddy we're not picking we're itching" and he would just give us "the look" the same one that boy is giving his sister. Then he would mutter something about kids being really gross.

Just made me laugh. I was having this very conversation on Sunday with a friend of mine and it made me laugh then too.

boogers and children; got a love it all... then to just keep the 'grossness going" why I said unpleasant little surprises; well that is what my mom called any errant boogies found hiding under furniture, on the wall etc. Of course that was not me; that would be the doing of Raspootin's siblings. At least to the best of my memory none of us did the truely disgusting; which would be the slight of hand; booger from nose to mouth :)

post 420 :)

Chicago Tribune cartoon 1934:


This is interesting and telling; and yes Frank it does look familiar.



and this is hillarious ... nasty but funny.


The Thingee Study.... The University of Georgia funded a study to see why the head of a man's thingee was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After they published the study, the Florida State decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Louisiana State University, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $175.46, and 12 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead

Musical Marvels

If only the world could come together as well as the musicians in this song do.

Happy Tuesday!

Watch the whole thing it gets better and better. Makes me want to go to Jazz Fest for obvious reasons; and maybe I will just have to play hooky from work and go!

My my My

So I am sitting here at the gallery with the door open; kind of reflecting and this guy shows up at the front door. He does not immediately walk in; he instead pulls something out of his pocket and compares it to the address. He then just stands there and stares at me for a minute or two.

He has long black hair; a beard and a mustache. He is attractive in a creepy way that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. He has intense black eyes and a muscular body.

After staring for his 1 minute or so he comes into the gallery and walks directly towards me. I am sitting at the desk looking directly at him. His gaze never waivers. Then he kind of ruins the moment by saying “I am Yogi” (I dunno, “Yogi” couldn’t he come up with a better name like :) Raspootin?) then holds out his hand so I think well what the hell and I go to shake it. He takes my hand and turns it over and touches my palm with his index finger; sort of like one long stroke. I remove my hand still at a loss for words.

He then (before I could say umm get away please) puts his hand on my head. He then backs away from the desk and tells me that he has been “told” to come here. He says that the mole I like to call it my beauty mark (hehee) is very lucky and that something really big is going to happen to me in June; something that will change everything. (I still have high hopes that it is a good something not a bad something)

Then he ruins the mystical moment and pulls out a piece of paper, shrink wrapped to card board with his name on it. (Very well worn and slightly stained I might add) It is the true proof of his talent; Yogi: Psychic Reader of Humanity.

I am not very interested in getting a reading so I say umm no thank you before he can even mention a reading; guess I got a bit of psychic in me too. He then puts the final nail in ruining his initial approach and says well that is up to you; Have a blessed day. Now “Have a blessed day” is something the Jehovah Witness people or the Baptist ministers looking for donations say when they come into the gallery. “Have a blessed day” Wow I guess I was hoping for something more exotic like umm well I don’t know maybe something in Arabic ? That would leave me wondering?

I would not say no to something big that is good happening in June; but like this song I think it was all about:

German ladies beat -off economic woes...

Let us use THIS VIDEO as an example in point.

Well I must say that I found the attached video an enormous relief. I was sitting here contemplating why people think that they should always ask for “deals” when they come into the gallery and buy art. It is extremely rare that some one will say: “OOOO wow I love that! How much? OK I must have it here is my credit card.” It usually is:" umm well how much is that?"; I give them the price; they ignore the price and say “What’s the best Price you can give me.” Sorta like why did I bother putting up that “pretend” price on the wall, because everyone knows that is not the “real” price.

I have noticed a steep increase of this; can you give me something more for nothing as the economy has gone in the shitter. However; I now do not feel quite as bad. Certainly its one thing telling me you want a discount on art; but how would you feel if you were one of the German Ladies in the video and someone not only started to discount your price per client; but then clients asked for additional concessions. NOW I am not sure what sort of “extra” things the men are asking for; but how insulting is it to even think of asking when they are already getting a house discount.

To all my artists out there; at least I take the brunt of the insult for you; I would hate for any of you to think that I am prostituting your work :) Of course every good madam must look out for her best interests while always, always… considering the value of her “boys”.

no title needed

I have no idea why, but this song by David Bowie, as obscure as it is, keeps going through my head. In fact I might say it was almost driving me insane because the only place I had it was on an old album and I could not remember the name.

Thank God for Youtube, I am now out of my misery and can share the tune of my mind with you.

I think a commenter at IH’s site was correct when she said I might have issues.

Appearance... don't always mean everything

Perhaps you have seen this; but I have to say that every once in a while there is a performance on this show that really brings a tear or two or three to my eyes.

WATCH IT HERE

Not to sound trite, but this is a classic example of judging the book by the cover; and that really should make people ashamed. I watched the video a couple of times as I needed to clear my tear ducts and keep thinking about the young brunette woman in the audience who actually rolled her eyes before the Susan Boyle started. People can be so mean.

I will be curious as the show progresses how Ms. Boyle, who stated she has never been kissed and lives with her best friend, a cat will be remade. I would say that with proper wardrobe, hair and eyebrow pluck; she will not only have the talent, but the all important “look” which apparently especially matters for middle aged women in show business. I would like to throw out that it would seem like there is a double standard. I don’t think she would have been received with such a shitty snotty shameful reception if she were a man.

hump day humor

I see you...

This is cool coupled with disturbing. I don't like the idea that some unidentified government agency can monitor me picking my nose; isolating out of a group of a million people.

As I was not in Washington DC, but here watching on TV I guess I have nothing to worry about. However one does wonder if the government can zoom in on so many; if they can tap our phone lines and cell phones; are they above installing chips in our digital TV's to monitor our couch potato stances and conversations.

You can be sitting there in your rattiest nastiest pair of PJ's thinking you are in the privacy of your home and low and behold there is a group of people secretly mocking you on the other end of your television set; not a good thing to overly contemplate as it might make you go insane :)


You can scan and zoom to any section of the crowd. . . wait a few seconds. . . and the focus adjusts.
The picture was taken with a robotic camera at 1,474 megapixel.

2009 Inauguration

Let the games begin

My friend Denise who I have known since highschool is getting married this weekend. As a result a number of college friends who I have not seen ummm in ummm 10 years ( or maybe 20) are in town to attend. I met up with some of them last night..



So we all met up where Shep was staying; I had to do the quintessional questionable tourist photo in front of Rodrigues "Blue Dog" gone red.
Both ladies said that I was forbidden to put their pics on this blog unless I included myself so here goes...

First stop Pat O's - I know sort of lame; but we are playing tourists even though we all went to Tulane together - ummm ya know like 15 years ago or so :)

Shep always did look good in pictures; she looks good in person too... plus she is a Dr. (gag) if I did not love her, i would have to hate :)




Durwood did not want a Hurricane... She always likes to do her own "thang" so went with the lemonade that really looked like a large glass of ice cubes to moi......


Rapsy like her hurricane; though feels like they forgot the alcohol even though it does not look that way in the pic.


Second Stop Napoleon House - Now I want you to take note of how people hold their drinks... Raspy insisted that everyone tried a Pimms Cup so this is the etiquette of holding ones Pimms...



Shep holds her Pimms delicately smiling grandly.



Durwood goes with the one hand approach on her Pimms cup smiling grandly

Raspy gently goes with the lets stick the straw up the nose approach. I swear one just can take Raspootin out in public...

Tomorrow I will post some candid shots from the reherasal dinner; Im sure yall are going to be holding your breath...

I hate mondays

The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.


He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.


Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.


When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.


The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'


Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Shaken not Stirred...

A little Apropos music selection...



"weiner" of Mardi Gras 2009 best costume



and therefore this video is a must see followup

Happy St Paddy's !

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

the truth hurts :(

I looked at this video and thought wow look at all those good looking men with great voices; isn’t it “FAB” that 4 talented, “HOT” men hooked up with each other out of the blue? Good thing that there is not an ugly one in the bunch. In fact in most groups there is typically an ugly one, who often is the most talented.

Who figures? THIS GUY must have his finger in everything. The truth ruined the whole thing for me. Guess that speaks to either my shallowness of character or extreme lack therein I dunno; all I do know is that it was just not the same after I knew.

dumbing it down to the basics

This is another sad commentary on our society; but I must say it made me laugh. People are so frickin clueless.

And yes the title of "Why dispatchers and Police People Drink" is appropriate.

It a Mad World

I would not want to bring a child into this world.

When children can not trust a parent to keep them safe, sheltered and fed; it's just a sad commentary on life in general.

I do not think it is going to get better economically for years to come, so we may see more of this happening as unemployment rises and the economy crushes the last bit of humanity from what used to be the so called family base.

The next generations will curse us, and I do not blame them a bit.

A man who had recently been laid off from a local hospital opened fire at his Wilmington home today, killing his five young children as well as his wife, police said. LA 01/27/09

A 53-year-old music teacher fatally shot his wife and two daughters Wednesday before killing himself, while his 16-year-old son who survived the attack managed to call police as he escaped uninjured from the Miami home, authorities said. Miami 02/25/09

A family of four has been found dead in a suburban Columbus, Ohio, home in what's believed to be a murder-suicide, authorities said Thursday. Police In Whitehall, east of Columbus, responded to a call around 2 p.m. Wednesday and found the bodies of Mark Meeks, 51; his wife, Jennifer Dallas-Meeks, 40; and children Jimmy, 5, and Abbigail, 8. Ohio 01/29/09

CHICAGO — A man who stabbed his first wife to death more than two decades ago used a Civil War replica rifle to kill his current wife and her son before committing suicide in their upscale suburban home, police said Tuesday. Chicago 03/03/09

Police launched a "massive manhunt" Friday for a newlywed suspected of killing his wife, sister-in-law and three little children in one of Cleveland's worst shootings in recent years.
The victims were found Thursday night on the second floor of a two-family home on the city's west side, police said. Cleveland 03/06/09

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- A man distraught because he could not find work shot and killed his mother-in-law, his wife and three sons and then killed himself inside a home in an upscale San Fernando Valley neighborhood, police said. Authorities said the man had an MBA in finance but appeared to have been unemployed for several months and had worked for major accounting firms, such as Price Waterhouse Oct 2008

June 2, 2008
Calgary, Canada – Five people have been confirmed dead in a murder-suicide that occurred on Tuesday, May 27. Joshua Lall, 34, stabbed and killed his wife Alison, 35, his two daughters Kristen, 5, and Rochelle, 3, and Amber Bowerman, 30, a tenant in their home, before committing suicide. A third daughter, one-year old Anna, was not harmed.

paranoia will destroy ya

PARANOID ?

at this point i will be living on the island... with the cabana boy :) and no cell phone.

yup when i can't lie about my age, weight and hair color, i'm done.