Wednesday, April 30, 2008

And she saw the light!

I know; no posts for 10 days and this is all I can come up with? Well for the first time ever in my search for Jesus or Mary in: The Wall, In The Cheese Sandwich, In The Lungs, In The Water, In The Corn Flake, In The Poop (that was kinda gross); I can actually see what the woman is talking about.

It looks like Jesus being crucified. Why the woman thinks this is a good thing to have in her womb is (kinda weird) but to each his or her own.

Jesus In The Womb

Friday, April 18, 2008

It can happen anywhere...

I walked out of my house yesterday evening to go meet a friend and as I went towards my car I heard BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

The guys that were cutting my neighbor’s grass yelled at me to “hit the ground” I did not need to be asked twice. Then my neighbor from the other side came out to see what had happened and they yelled at her, hit the ground. We then heard a squeal of tires.

The gardener said, “I know what that was it had to be an automatic weapon because it sounded just like what we were using in Iraq.” He then went on to say he was sorry that he had told us to get down, but wherever the gun shots had come from was so close that is was possible that the bullets might have traveled.

Marion and I did not have a problem, as both of us initially thought that is was a worker having a problem with his tools – don’t know what sort of tool would make that sound, but I have never heard anything that loud in succession before. It was kind of scary.

Anyway, this is the story, and yes it did happen 1.5 blocks from my house. Not good for the neighborhood, and really bad for the guy that was murdered.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

dream interpretation please?

I have been having some really weird dreams. Last night’s was particularly odd. I have no idea why I would have dreamed this. I am not sure if it was a nightmare or a sex dream; either way I woke up all sweaty(ewewee)

I was in bed with Spock and Captain Kirk. Spock was evidently my lover in the dream. He was in the middle with me to his left and CK to his right. CK had this long metal object with a light on the end of it that was some sort of weapon. He kept telling Spock to stop paying attention to me and play with him. Well it was not play as in a sexual play but like hey this is my little toy and I want to show it to you.

Spock kept on saying stop pointing that thing Jim you are going to hurt her (me). CK is like well I am just playing I won’t hurt her. Then all of a sudden the wind is knocked out of me because Spock throws himself on top of me. Again nothing sexual, though I knew in the dream that my relationship with him was sexual and CK was jealous. So when he gets off of me he leans over to KC and said “I told you to stop playing with that thing Jim you almost killed her with it”. Then he did the Vulcan Pinch to CK’s shoulder. He then rolled over and turned to me and said lets have sex, he is not going to wake up anytime soon.

I then woke up.

I then went back to sleep and dreamed the same dream again.

Gosh I think I could have at least had a little nooky with him before waking up each time :) Actually more to the point why couldn’t I have been in bed with Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt?

captian kirk is a big weenie :)

Friday, April 11, 2008

a question of proceedure?

I found an unidentified object (UO) in my salad on Monday night. After recovering from my initial disgust I put the object which kind of looked like 25 fossilized condoms in a plastic baggy.

I showed the object to a couple of friends at The Mayfair to see what they thought it was. The consensus was that at the very best definitely not fossilized condoms which made me feel better.

One of the bartenders said that I should bring the UO over to the restaurant that I got the salad from and let them know that they needed to be more careful. We all eat at this place a lot and the serving staff comes into the Mayfair daily.

I could not really be bothered to go over, thinking that it would definitely gross out the restaurant patrons if I all of a sudden pulled out the baggy with the UO still covered in salad dressing and complained.

Another Bartender who has been my friend for 20 years said: “Give me the UO and I will show it to the manager of the restaurant as he typically comes in for a cocktail when his shift is over.”

So I give her the UO in the baggy and don’t really think anything more about it. Well, I walked into the Mayfair last night, after what I must say was a very bad hair day, and my friend is sitting at the Video Poker machine. She calls me over and says that she talked to the manager and get this: The manager was mad at MOI because I showed the UO to my friends. My friend told me that he said the appropriate thing would have been to take it over in a brown paper bag and discreetly ask for him and he would have noted the complaint. He then told her he was very disappointed in my behavior.

I told my friend that’s BS I did not do anything wrong, the restaurant did something wrong. There should not have been a UO in my salad and further more I could have choked to death on it.

My friend looked at me and said: “Well I think the manager is correct. You did show it to me and a couple of other people.” Well that response really pissed me off. In fact it pissed me off so bad that I had to immediately walk away before I said something that I would not regret at the time, but probably would later. Not really worth losing a friend over an UO in your salad. Then I got to thinking, would a true friend take up for the manager at the Restaurant, or would they side with me?

Well the issue was resolved when my friend eventually apologized to me. I accepted the apology, but noted that she never said she was wrong with her take on the situation, but simply said she was sorry to have been nasty – she was having a bad hair day too.

I do not think I did anything wrong. Please someone tell me what your take on it is. I think I am still irritated.

Friday, April 04, 2008

buds of a feather smoke together

I was reading about legalized medical marijuana in California – why ? No idea, but came across a story about how some of the distribution facilities were selling vials named “Tom Cruise Purple” with a picture of TC on the front laughing hysterically. The head line read: Tom Cruise Purple Medical Marijuana has Actor Smoking Mad.

Sarcky and funny in my opinion, but I guess he is figuring out how to sue them.

At any rate the story led me through a number of others until I came across this. I think I saw a portion of this on The Tome, but not the whole thing ITS worth the watch. Spoofin' at its best.

If he successfully sues perhaps they can replace his picture with one of these people:

Thursday, April 03, 2008

babar has talent?

I am not really sure what to say about this, but I think I could definitely sell it in my gallery!

Does the elephant have an innate talent? Was he or she taught? Does it really matter? This is a discussion that human artists have with critics: are you a better artist because you have paid $100K for a degree or are you actually a more talented artist because you are self taught?

Regardless, this is rather impressive:

Elephant Paints Self-Portrait
Elephant Paints Self-Portrait