Sunday, December 31, 2006

pity party 12/31/06

New Year’s Eve is without doubt the worst holiday bar none. I used to think that Valentines day might be a close second, but now that I am older and work with married women the one upping of who gets the most and biggest bunch of roses is no longer an issue.

New Year’s Eve is a holiday that one is expected to attend parties, be jolly and then embrace sweaty strangers who have drunk way too much. I do not feel jolly and I certainly do not feel like effecting said merriment for the sake of others.

That being said, there is something rather depressing about just ignoring the whole event by retiring alone to bed at 10:00. I just talked to a friend of mine who informed me that she was really sorry that I was all alone on New Year’s Eve. NOT perhaps the most tactful approach in giving an unsolicited opinion.

What to do? Pretend that I am sick in order to avoid going out or go out and receive pity parties from those who feel that their lack of singleness gives them a one- up on me - sort of like the girl who I worked with when I was 22 that always received a dozen long stem red roses each Valentine’s Day. The roses did not make her better, smarter or prettier, but she sure thought they did.

My Birthday is on New Years Day which I am certain has a lot to do with my general apathy about New Year’s Eve. I do not want to appear un-festive so I shall go out early and wish happy New Year to everyone. When the time is appropriate I will slip out of the party and hope that no one notices my absence. This is a good solution to waking up with a hang-over on my birthday. Of course ever since I have been of drinking age even if I do not have a hang over most of my friends do which then makes my birthday celebration not much fun.

Ok enough of my pre birthday pity party - I am going to embrace the whole year older thing along with the single thing with dignity and work on doing better for New Year’s Eve 2007.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Is the Golden Rule really golden?

I just spent an edifying yet non productive day reading a friends blog comments. I guess I do get credit for filing 3 months of invoices for a company that I work for, but though that could be described as productive I found it rather mind numbing.

The edifying portion was reading the comments on the Christian Blog site. I was amazed that people who claim to follow the teaching of Jesus and who supposedly have a close relationship with God could be so self absorbed and pretentious. Maybe my Sunday school teacher did not do a good job with me, but I thought followers of Jesus are supposed to have humility and embrace humanity.

The Christians on this site were more involved with debating why a human should value another human; coming from the stance that humans should not necessarily value humans, than preaching what I thought was the core of Jesus’ teachings: Brotherly Love.

The topic centered on the Golden Rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. My friend the atheist seemed more able to comprehend this than the Christian writers who broke the “rule” time and again by bullying the atheist – calling him names and demanding that he defend his beliefs, but never once backing up theirs.

The whole read was a lesson in true religious hypocrisy.

I have contemplated the “Rule” before and wondered about its true measure, because what if how I wanted to be treated was totally opposite to how my neighbor wanted to be treated? To assume the functionality of the Golden Rule we would have to assume that we are all the same and want the same things. I think it is safe to say that as humans we all do not want the same things. Not even intrinsic things such as world peace, love and health.

War mongers may hope the results of their conflicts will result in world peace, but the means to the end is certainly not a result of consensus of thought. Some want to fight wars, some want diplomatic measures employed. Most people want to be loved, but we all certainly do not seek love in the same manner. In fact most peoples approach to love is quite unique. There is the person who falls in love at the drop of a hat and tells the world; heart on their sleeve, while others that cautiously invert all feeling afraid of being hurt. We all want to be healthy; yet one person’s approach may be to exercise while another person might eat only vegetables while another will embrace the Atkins diet.

I guess my point is that the Golden Rule is good in an altruistic approach to life, but in actuality is not something that is achievable as we are all unique.

Hopefully my Saturday Knight will fill me with further enlightenment!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Bump in the night?

Ok on with the ghost stories which I am told make a nice change to the gross stories.

After living with Kate and Lisa for 3 years I had enough of the hot little back bedroom and decided that it was time to move out. A friend of mine and her husband told me about an apartment that was up for rent in their building. By now you have heard my stories enough to know that the “feeling in a house” is an important factor in making the decision to live somewhere, especially if you are forced to sign a lease.

Well this little apartment did not give me a very good feeling, but it was in my price range and next door to my friends so I thought how bad can in it be? If something goes wrong I can always bang on the wall and get their attention. From day one the apartment had odd things going on. The toilet liked to flush itself. The lights liked to turn themselves off and on and the temperature fluctuated at an alarming rate given there was no central air or units controlling it.

My friend Marlene who liked to crash at my place when she had a bit much to drink at Shanahan’s to drive was the first victim of the thing that inhabited the apartment. She typically would sleep on the gold couch in the living room. When I woke up one morning she was sleeping in the bathtub. Yes I know my stories do seem to have a bathroom escape theme – what can I say it is the way it happened. I assumed that she was in the bathtub because she might have felt a bit sick in the night and gone to use the toilet,then passed out.

She said that as she was sleeping on the sofa that something/ someone? Crawled on to it with her and tried to become “familiar”. I thought well I can certainly think of worse things happening. However she described this thing as being like a zombie ghost monster thing – and I guess that I certainly can not imagine much worse than that happening. As we discussed the situation I thought that it might have been my friend’s husband given that they had a key to the apartment. (I hope he never reads this blog as that is not a very flattering comment) but I really could not think of what else it could be.

The next time Marlene stayed at my house I woke up in the morning and she was no where to be found. I thought perhaps she had left, but her car was parked out in the street still. I got dressed and went outside and there she was sound asleep mouth wide open snoring. I banged on the window and asked her what she was doing/ besides sleeping in her car all night with the door unlocked. She said that the “thing” had tried to follow her into the bathroom this time and as she was still too intoxicated to drive she had to go sleep in her car to get away from it.

I never saw the “thing” in the apartment. However I was in my bed room one night when the toilet and the lights and the temperature did their thing all at the same time; all of a sudden it was pitch black the toilet is flushing like mad and the room went from a balmy 75-80 degrees down to what felt like 40 or 30 degrees. There was a little tiny door in the bedroom across from the bed that led into a small storage area. I always kept the door closed because it reminded me of where goblins would live from a kids’ book that I used to read. The door was around 3 foot by 1 foot. As I sat up in bed and tried not to look at it, it opened.

I jumped out of bed I was really freaked out. Definitely stuff that nightmares are made of and started banging on the wall for my neighbors. When they came over about 2 minutes later the lights mysteriously worked and the temperature had risen.

I broke my lease and moved out 3 days later. I ended up getting an apartment with my friend Marlene and the weird stuff continued to happen…

Monday, December 11, 2006

Rubber works in magical ways

Imitation of Christ Psychedelic Furs...

I decided this evening that I should either do a comical post or continue with my “supernatural experiences."

I can’t help it – I was going to go for the next installment of ghost, but the comical is going to make my mood brighter and lighter.

The first apartment I lived here in New Orleans was not just odd by its room set up but made more odd by the number of people who frequented it. My friend Kate, Lisa and I decided that after living in dorms the first year of Tulane that it would be cheaper to live in an apartment.

Kate got the big master bedroom,Lisa’s Boyfriend built a wall around the center dining room area which then allowed me a secretive passage of 1.5 feet down the side of her wall to my bedroom hidden in the back of the house.

The problem with the deal that I had made with my roommates was that I had absolutely no air conditioning in my bed room. At 19 I had my job at Shanahan’s a local bar, but no money to pay for an A/C unit for the window.

As you might have noted from my previous posts, I have a tendency to make more of the obvious and attribute it to the supernatural. I was dating this guy named Gary and well – he spent some time with me in the hot in the back room.

I had 2 windows in the room and they were directly beside the twin size bed. One morning I woke up and there was this green oozy thing that seemed to be growing on the window sill. I am like well this room is 100 degrees in the day, no doubt that this could happen. The next day I noted more green ooziness. I did not think much of it as I thought it was probably mold. The next two weeks the oozy colors on the sill changed from green to red, then yellow then purple: then they just all melted together. At this point they expanded where they started to expand and grow in length, width and of course the interesting meshes of color.

I was looking at the dripping ooze one night and said in a loud voice that drove my roommates back to my reclusive bedroom, OH MY GOD, I THINK JESUS IS GROWING ON THE SILL. Surely as I am writing this, the ooze had deteriorated to a Technicolor muck that had given up the rise into a down ward drip that looked like a guy with long hair, a beard and a mustache.

As I cried out, Kate, Lisa and Gary all ran back to see what was up. I pointed out the religious experience on my widow sill. Kate and Lisa started to hysterically laugh and Gary said- we are broken up.” Do not Call me again EVER”

Being a bit na├»ve I wondered what the problem was – Kate and Lisa informed me that the wonder mix of Jesus on my sill was a profound mixture of Shanahans condoms.

Lovely first experience with condoms: I remember going EWWWWWWWWWW = do you think he put them there to use, or do you think he used them and put them there?

I will never know the answer to this question as I simply took a razor and removed them. My roommates teased me about Jesus condoms for years. This was a most unfortunate and a very embarrassing experience. I hate to say it, but I have 2 more condom stories that are quite amusing, but I will share them in another post.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The horror of reality

This is a horror story, but not one based on supernatural experience. Last night, in my district #2, we had a vote on who should be our congressional leader. By an OVERWHELMING majority Bill Jefferson was re-elected. Slick Bill is the former high-ranking democratic leader that Nancy Pelosi kicked off the Ways and Means Committee because he accepted bribes of which $90K in marked bills were found in his freezer.

I am sick to death of the people that do not live here, but some how still have a right to vote. They are screwing the progress of the rebuild through ever lasting ignorance. Yes Bill Jefferson will be indicted and maybe someone better than Karen Carter will run against him. That was: is not a reason to have voted for Jefferson. This type of vote makes bonafide the image of New Orleans as corrupt and the residents Stupid.

Talking about stupid, I would like to discuss recent conversations with friends that 5 years ago supported Bush’s invasion of Iraq. I do not use the word invasion lightly, because that is exactly what the US arrogance was all about. We did nothing about Bin Laden but went after a more tactic target that actually had nothing to do with the strike on NY. We have created a mess that is luckily in death toll less than Vietnam, but in my mind higher than is acceptable. Why do history buffs keep pontificating about remembering the Holocaust when we can not even remember the war that took out thousands of soldiers 40 years ago and was never resolved?

Is it possible that we are breeding stupid and more stupid people in the United States? Perhaps the support for “stay the course” is all about the soldiers that lost their lives fighting a war mandated by the commander and chief. We would not want to say they died in vain for a cause that they were by obligation and commitment to Mr. Bush to fight. I do not think the people, soldiers that lost their lives did it in vain, but hopefully as a technological society we can record their brave, imposed and indoctrinated effort to complete a mission but not let future persons fight the fight that can not be resolved.

In conclusion, I can not see how GW Bush, Karl Rove or Bill Jefferson can sleep at night. As much as I understand there might not be a hell or heaven or even god looking out for them, I hope for their sakes this is true. Death is an easier punishment; if it is not true their souls are damned for surely there is not a god out there who would find their actions acceptable.

We are damned here in New Orleans until those of us that support the tax basis can get a good candidate elected to represent us as Mayor, Council Person or yes Most importantly, Congress person. Our world is so profoundly F’d- up that I despair for those of my friends that want to bring children into it.

Tomorrow I will do a less realistic horror story, but doubt it will chill you more than the fact of what is happening NOW.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Audley Street - London

I am sitting here: that would be in my house that has no heat and freezing, yet have an understanding that I really ought to do a post. I should take a picture of the temperature gage which reads 38 degrees.

I said that I was going to do one about the subject of ghouls that should never be said. As it is so cold in my house, it reminds me of the events that transpired. – I shall make a freezy-cold attempt at the story.

When I was 5 years old we moved to London. I can attest that the scarcest thing I had thus encountered was “The Wizard of OZ”, and there in the monkeys and the Wicked Witch were terrifying. When my family moved into a temporary flat in Audley Street it backed up to a Church and a graveyard. If you have never been to London it would be hard to understand that this was not like an American burial ground, but more like a nice quite park. At 5 years old, I had never heard the word ghost; therefore had no idea what one was.

My sister and I shared a room upstairs in the flat, with my brother in the room next door to us. My brother, who even at the age of 9 is the most stoic person I know, would have these terrible dreams where he would hit his hand against the wall until they would bleed. I on the converse of physical kept seeing these 2 Victorian clad people coming into my room each night and clinically observing me. My sister who is 8 years older said that she never felt anything and that I was crazy. These visitations upstairs started to become more frequent and more frightening. I started to have dreams? Or a reality based thought about fire coming out of the stove in the kitchen and then walking down stairs to turn the stove off and then looking into the stove and having a demon trying to pull me in.

I finally refused to go upstairs to bed before my sister was ready to go. So my parents would put me in their bed down stairs then carry me up. One night I was sleeping in my parent’s bed and the 2 Victorian Ghosts came into their bedroom. I saw them by the door first then they approached the bed. The man ghost said it was time to take me. The Woman ghost started to argue with him. I screamed by head off and told my parents that I wanted to sleep upstairs with my sister.

My sister did not really want me in the room with her as she felt that I was somehow drawing these things into the room. She denies any recollection of the story, but she does remember the night when it was very cold outside and she was the baby sitter in charge. My brother with bandaged hands, me with an unnatural ability to feel a presence in the room and her who did not believe was all sitting in front of the television set watching Dr. Who when it happened. All the lights in the flat went out first. She was bummed because Dr. Who was a favorite, and then became alarmed because the room turned from warm to freezing in about 30 seconds. My brother was crying and I was screaming that they were in the room, because I could see these two ghosts as clear as if the lights were on.

My sister who is a devote non – believer in the supernatural even at the age of 14, became like a mother lion and spouted any clever thing, none of it Christian based I might add, to make it go away. The lights flickered more. I know she saw them. I am positive my brother did, but to this day they deny any memory of the incident. When I talked to my parents about the “Audley Street experience they are appalled that I never told them what the problem was: though they too think it was an over active imagination of a 5 year old. My brother and sister still cut me off short if I bring the subject up, because the subject in my family is off limits.

I am not going to write any more tonight, but one night in a cold apartment that I used to live in here in New Orleans, my sister finally saw something that disturbed her non- belief enough to question me about the incident that happened so many years ago. What she saw will be my next post.

PS – when my parent’s showed us St. Stephens Close the permanent apartment that we were moving to, I breathed a sigh of relief, because I thought what ever it was could not follow me there…

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Mind Over Matter?

I have had many experiences with things that go bump in the night. Personally I do attribute these encounters as encounters with the supernatural. However; when I watched THIS video it did make me realize that the mind certainly can play tricks on you.

The most terrifying experience I have had to date with the phenomena of the unexplained was when I was visiting my friend Al in Maryland. He was staying in a very old house with 5 roommates. None of them really knew each other that well; it was more like a convenient living arrangement based on fiscal needs.

When we arrived at the house he said that his room was down in the basement. There was a front area like a living room, a bedroom where another guy’s room was and then Al was at the very back. The living room was carpeted and had no furniture. I asked about the lack of furniture and he said that the girl who recently lived in the room left the house abruptly. I immediately felt a cold chill when I walked into the room and asked him if the girl had displayed any weird habits. Right as I was asking the guy Steven who lived in the middle room before Al’s and his boyfriend came in. He gave his b-friend and Al a funny look and said to me why would you ask? I was like well this place feels a bit haunted to me.

Steven then told me that this girl Allison went from being a really normal bubbly sorority type into spending hours in the room standing at an ironing board ironing clothes that were not existent and fastidiously vacuuming the room, but never turning the vacuum cleaner on... Apparently when she started chanting she freaked the other roommates out so much that they asked her to leave.

That night I settled in on my air mattress and started reading my book. I could not shake the feeling that someone was in the room with me. When I finally got tired I turned out the light and closed my eyes. Not more than 20 seconds later the whole room went frigid and I felt something breathing in my face. There was no sound, just breath. I jumped up and turned the lights on. It was the weirdest thing – because the carpet in the room which was cream shag had been completely dry when I went to bed, and now it was all wet.

I decided that I was letting my imagination play tricks on me so I went to the window to see if it was raining out or if there was a logical reason for the wet carpet. The full moon was shining brightly outside and ‘there was not a cloud in the sky’. I was kind of not feeling as scared with the light on, and had gotten over my fright even though the carpet was now not only wet, but it had suds on it, like a carpet would be if you were shampooing it. I decided that I was being stupid, so I turned off the light by the mattress and tried to go back to sleep. This time I not only felt the breath on my face I felt someone literally trying to smother me – like I had to push against what ever it was to make it go away. I turned on the light again. It was the really weirdest thing this time because I could see a set of foot prints in the sudsy carpet that led from where the ironing board and the vacuum were that came directly over to my air mattress.

I was literally paralyzed. When I regained by composure I decided that I could not possibly go up the stairs to the main house as I did not know any of the room mates and did not know how they would feel about me sleeping on the couch upstairs.

I could not go and get Al because Steven and his boyfriend were bopping in the room that I would have to go through to get to Al. So I made an executive decision, grabbed my blanket and pillow and headed to the bathroom and slept in the shower. As soon as I got to the bathroom I knew that I would be safe from whatever/whoever possessed the basement living room. A big sense of relief swept over me.

I will admit that when Steven and his Boyfriend walked buck naked into the bathroom the next morning and we all met with a scream that I was rather embarrassed and wondered if I had made the whole thing up. By the way the carpet was completely dry in the morning looking as if it was professionally steam cleaned and vacuumed.

My friend Al did think I was rather batty, but all was confirmed by another roommate Jenny, who before hearing my story, told Al and me a similar experience that she had in the basement. Let us not forget poor Allison who went bonkers...

Who knows if it is the power of suggestion or an actual ghouly thing, all I know whether it is real or not it sure feels real at the time.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Discrimination Exists

I was having a conversation with a male friend who refused to believe that women are discriminated against in the work place. He proceeded to tell me that men’s brains work differently than women’s brains therefore no doubt why men made more than women in the same job was not a matter of discrimination but because men simply out performed women in certain jobs; therefore earning more.

I can not think of any career where a man on the basis of Brain power outsmarts a woman. If both candidates are equally educated and equally motivated there is no difference in performance. The difference lies in the old boy network that purposely excludes women from their network.

If anything women have to work harder than men to achieve the same success. I spent 13 years attempting to break through the preverbal glass ceiling in large corporations. I spent 13 years listing to sports analogies that were meant to isolate and confuse me in business meetings. I spent 13 years knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I was being paid less than my male counterparts. I spent 13 years in corporate America hell concluding that even a law was not going to change the system, because men did not want the system changed.



No doubt my friend will say that the statistics on the site are bias. All I can say is: my friend I have lived through the reality of discrimination and it does exist even if you choose to believe differently.

I now work as an independent financial (CPA) advisor and am very happy that I am now calling the shots – nothing like being the Coach and owning the team…

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I have no idea what brought this post to mind...

I am looking for a thread; Murphy’s Law and Law of Averages.

A couple of years ago my brother in law committed Suicide on August 31st, my ex husbands birthday. As my husband was out of town I took care of the litany of paperwork that comes with an untimely death. The whole thing was quite an ordeal as the hospital was hand pumping his heart even though he was brain dead. All of his family was in California so my Father in Law told me to make the call. I said to stop pumping and let him go. John’s (my brother in law) girl friend Amelia was at the hospital and accused me of murdering John for making the call.

I flew out to California to see my in- laws and my husband who still there. I had never met his family before, but they seemed really nice even though they were going through this horrible death situation. I flew out Friday September 7, 2001 and was due back in New Orleans Tuesday September 11. The evening of September 9, 2001 I got this overwhelming feeling that I had to leave on the 10th. When I told my husband’s family that I was moving up my reservations I think that they just assumed that I did not like them. All I can say is that I am glad I was not stuck somewhere between San Diego and New Orleans the morning of 9-11-01

When my husband returned to New Orleans his brother’s girlfriend Amelia decided that she needed to start calling him 24/7. Some sort of issue about needing to “comfort” him and herself because they were going through the same “thing”. Hmmm yes well calling led to going to drinks which led to going to dinner which led to the ultimate form of “comfort”. I think that I was fully aware of what was going on, but was so tired of living a lie with a controlling bastard that I let the affair go. If he was out with her he at least was not in my house driving me slowly insane.

On January 2 of 2002 I slipped off the attic stairs at my gallery and did a compound fracture to my ankle. I was in the hospital for 4 days and underwent 2 surgeries. I remember before the first operation the doctor saying “where’s your husband- this is a serious operation and you need a family member here.” I was too embarrassed to call my family because I did not want to admit that my husband was such an ass hole. I checked my self out of the hospital on the 4th day, but they would not release me unless I had someone pick me up and stay with me in my house. The cast came up over my knee and it was on my right leg which made driving difficult. I told my husband that he better come and get me or I was going to tell his parents who are very devout Christians what he was up to. He came and picked me up. Dropped me off at the front door of the house and promptly left.

Looking back at the situation it was probably a “blessing in disguise” that I broke my ankle because it prohibited me from being able to get in my truck and make a Public Scene in front of my husband and Amelia who were now living together. It also kept me away from having to hear all the gossip and unsolicited comments from friends and acquaintances.

The day after I got my cast off of my leg I was soundly asleep when my phone kept ringing and ringing. I finally picked up the phone and as it was 3am I thought – shit someone better be dead or my gallery better have been burglarized – something important better have happened. Be afraid of what you wish for. The Fire Chief in the other end of the phone said you better get over here now; your gallery is on fire.

The fire was a 6 alarm affair and destroyed 90% of my artists work. My husband’s computer business was in the same building – and was also completely destroyed.

I had very good insurance and after 7 months of negotiations was able to settle a claim and pay the artists. The claim also allowed me in part to pay off my bank note.

I think this came to mind as I attending a company Thanksgiving Lunch this afternoon. I am the CPA for the company and my EX is their IT person. He brought along his 26 year old new wife. It was all a bit awkward, but personally I am really happy that we are not married anymore and feel bad for his new wife. All of my co- workers were really concerned about how I felt about the new wife’s presence. I found this concern to be rather annoying, though well placed.

My thought is anything that can go wrong will, but everything evens out in the end and there in lays the thread.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Ten Commandments

After reading another Blog it occurred to me that I really did not know what the 10 Commandments were.

I always thought that I was following the precepts, but after reading them it gave me a cause to pause and reflect.


I am not saying that I believe in other Gods, but the fact that I definitely believe there is only one God, Like Allah and God are one in the same probably means that I am breaking this commandment.


Ok – I have a bunch of what I would call talisman that sit on my computer. I do not pray to them but, well I like to attribute good things happening to their presence in the gallery. I have a feeling that this might fall under the category of No Idols, so I am probably screwing up on this one too.


I definitely am not very good with this one. A friend of mine is reading books on a radio station for the blind. When I read that “God Damn” was right up there with “Fuck” for a FCC "no no" I was shocked. In fact I remember saying God Damn is bad? God Damn!!


I do not go to church and I work at the gallery doing things for Accounting Clients on Sunday.


Well now that I am older this is easier to do, but my parents are just people. I do not believe that everything they think, say or do is good. In fact, there were many years I thought that they were pretty ignorant and religiously tried to do every thing the opposite of what they wanted.


I would not have a problem killing someone who was trying to kill me or someone I cared about. I might feel bad about it, but would definitely feel justified.

In fact I just executed 3 big stingy type of bugs that dived bombed my desk. I did not feel remotely bad about this. Stingy types of bugs along with mice and rats need to stay outside and not invade my domain or death is their punishment.


I have never committed adultery –so I am good on this one!


Does this apply to people’s lighters, pens and pencils? Does this apply to using the copier at work when I know they are charged 1cent for black and white and 8 cents for color copies? Does this apply to the Apples on my neighbor’s tree? How about finding $100 on the ground in a bar under the video poker machine and not reporting it to the bartender? The Bartender would probably just pocket it anyway…


When I was living with someone and I could not find where I put something I admit accusing them of moving it. In fact, If there is an inequity in my office at work I will accuse someone of moving my shit. Typically I will find that I was the one who put “it” whatever “it” might be in the wrong place. I rarely admit that it was me that erred.


I really wish I had a Mercedes like my neighbors. In fact I wish I had my neighbor’s house. I can not have conversations with people about how much money they make because I then covet their bank account.

In Conclusion other than the Adultery thing I am a complete moral failure according to the Old Testament of the Bible.

How do you stack up?

The picture is of my gallery talisman: A Nicorette race car, an angel stone, a mean nun who spits fire out of her mouth when you wind her up, a jewel, a turtle and yes a bottle of levy breach water from Katrina. I do not think this is odd at all :)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Nothing came to mind this evening...

Yes I know Nagin is a Mayor not a senator, but the same sentiment applies.

"While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St.. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

One man's trash is another man's treasure...

Adoration of the Magi by Fra Angelico

Personally I get excited when I find $10.00 in my winter coat pocket the first cold snap of wearing it. If I found THIS I would probably drop dead.

I am tempted to go to thrift markets and buy all the Jesus/religious paintings that I can find. Maybe I will make a historic discovery! With all the renovation work I have recently done on my 1800's Victorian I feel that I am due. Maybe I will go into my back room and start sledge hammering the wall. Instead of a hidden vault filled with treasure with my luck all I will find is a million contented cock roaches and a bit of black mold...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A nice story for Sunday Afternoon...

I have been having an ongoing discourse between an artist of mine and his mother. There is nothing like getting stuck in the middle between a 70 year old woman and her 50 year old son.

This artist – I will call him Mark for a lack of a better name, and because I would not want for him to ever come across this blog and be offended that I spoke out of school.

Mark never actually has shown anything at the gallery as he has spent the past year in and out of mental institutions. However his likes to call me on a weekly basis to tell me about what is going on with his medications and just in general tell me any odd thought that happens to be currently wandering through his head.

I was very clear with Mark that I could not store any more of his Art in my very small gallery. I was also very clear that if he was not going to make an attempt to start getting his artwork framed for a show that instead of storing art at the gallery he was going to have to come and pick it up.

Last week his mother who is rather odd herself called and said that Mark told her to take all of his art work off the walls at her house and drop it off at the gallery. I’m like “no Mrs. Marks mom – I do not have room for it.” She is like” well Raspootin you do not understand he keeps calling me and threatening me that if I don’t give you the artwork he will – well I don’t know what he will do but my son is crazy ya know what I mean.” I said Mrs. Marks Mom – do not bring the artwork here. I will refuse it if you do.

So last night around 8:00pm Mark calls me from the psychiatric ward and says that I have to take the artwork because he has had a falling out with his mother. I again said no I do not have room for it. What did he not understand about our last conversation?

He ignored me and said let me tell you about the falling out with my mother. He said I have done a painting that is really cool about it. So I take the bait and say ok tell me about it Mark. What is the painting of? He is like well it is 84 x 60 inch oil on canvas depicting a woman with her breast exposed rocking and nursing her child. However the child has a large knife in its back and blood running out of its partially severed head which is leaning at a grotesque angle poised on the mother’s nipple. He then indicated that even though the chair is in motion, the mother is dead too.


He then said that the piece was inspired by a child hood experience. When he was a child he would say: “ Mama rock me more” and she would say that she did not want to and he would say “please mama just five more minutes” and then she would rock him for five more minutes, but he knew that she really did not want to rock him. He the repeated, my mother and I have had a falling out and she will never rock me again.

I just felt the need to share this with everyone… I also went back and started looking at all of Mark’s Woman pieces today. The entire collection of woman pieces has oddly placed nipples and or breasts. The picture above is one that I find particularly disturbing. Evidently I did not really give it a good look when he dropped it off.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Have a nice weekend!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Just a few thoughts...

Salvador Dali: Person Am Fenster

Well the democrats have the congress and maybe when they count the votes in Virginia the Senate as well. So what does this really mean? It does mean that Nancy Pelosi will take over as speaker of the house which is a good thing. It does mean that Donald Rumsfeld after a “thoughtful” talk with GW decided to FINALLY resign, something that he should have done months ago. (As an aside if you spell check “rumsfeld” it changes it to “rusted” ya have to love the Microsoft humor?) It does not mean any discernable change in Iraq, but it does mean that the rest of the world is looking with more respect on as us a Nation for sending a message to Washington.

On a more personal level, I must say that the elections in Louisiana were very encouraging. All of our constitutional amendments were approved. My top 2 most important being Amendment 7 and Amendment 5; amendment 7 was for the long needed consolidation of our 7 Orleans Parish Assessors to 1 and Amendment 5 was to remove personal property tax on consigned art in galleries. #5 has stuck in my craw for years. Every time I was assessed at the gallery I would march down to the assessor’s office and complain. Our old Assessor Janice Degan started saying hello to me at the grocery store and asking if she could expect me for our annual meeting of the minds.

I can tell that a lot of people did not really understand amendment 5 as it was voted in on a tight margin. Just a quick explanation is in order. Personal Property tax is exempted on artwork in your home, whether you purchased the art or you are the artist. As soon as the same art is put in a gallery it is not exempt from property tax. So immediately this becomes a nightmare for the gallery owner, the artist or the consignor. At the end of the year, if you are honest you are supposed to break down all the consigned art that has traveled through the gallery in the past year and percentage break it out by the retail value and declare it as personal property to be taxed. I can assure you that no gallery was doing that, so typically what one would do it just say – all my art is consigned, but none of the consigned art for the past year is in the gallery, and typically the Assessor would leave you alone because the law sucked.

However, there were 3 occasions where I had revenue agents wander through my gallery and then call me on the consignment thing. When this happened they took names and addresses of Artists and people who were simply consigning previously purchased art – and then sent them the personal property tax bill. Of course this then makes the gallery owner extremely popular with them. The law was detrimental to art galleries and to our ability to establish good relations with consignors and artists who typically are not very business savvy. What I used to do to circumvent the problem was declare an actual inventory (even though the art was consigned) so that it would not flag the Assessors office. This was at a cost of $1000+ per year to the gallery. However, it was the only way to keep the artists and consignors safe. The bottom line being it was not really the gallery’s personal property tax, but their liability if I listed them on the personal property tax form for the gallery. I still do not know if the artists and owners of art consigned realize that this was not a tax benefit for the gallery, but a tax benefit for them.

One last thing on the issue that was not discussed in this Amendment; Say I purchase a piece of art inventory for $20,000.00 and it does not sell in the first year. I have to pay not only income tax via the inventory, but personal property tax. Then let’s say in year 2 I still have not sold the piece. I am taxed on it again via personal property tax. That is double taxation without a doubt. It is unfair and wrong. When I told Janice Degan’s office about the double taxation issue they said that art appreciates the same as your home… yeah right if that was true I would be a millionaire.

Once again I have run on with a long explanation, but so be it.

My last and final comment is in regard to the one UNFAVORABLE thing that occurred during our elections. William Jefferson the democratic congressman district 2 (my district) who has been thrown off the Ways and Means Committee for potentially taking a bribe of $90K and hiding it in his freezer, won over 30% of the vote. What are people thinking here? Whether the guy is indicted, whether he is found guilty, he is finished in D.C. He is powerless.

For anyone who reads this and actually voted for him, remember that Nancy Pelosi was the one who kicked Jefferson off the committee. She now wields the power, and I don’t think she is going to let our own slick willie slide – so just don’t waste your vote on him again.

My last, last final comment speaks to the topic of Oil Revenue Sharing. If you do not live in Louisiana we would greatly appreciate you emailing your representatives and asking them to vote for this before the session ends. The 2 most powerful Democrats come January 2007, Congress woman Nancy Pelosi and Senator Jeff Bingaman strongly oppose Louisiana getting any share of offshore oil royalties. The S—t is going to hit the fan here if we do not get our fair share. Please remember that the entire infrastructure for getting the oil out of The Gulf is here in Louisiana. If you would like more information please check out THIS .

Breaking News:

just added:

WASHINGTON - Democrats wrested control of the Senate from Republicans Wednesday with an upset victory in Virginia, giving the party complete domination of Capitol Hill for the first time since 1994, as NBC News reported that Democrat Jim Webb was the apparent winner.

Webb’s apparent squeaker win over incumbent Sen. George Allen effectively gave Democrats their 51st seat in the Senate, an astonishing turnabout at the hands of voters unhappy with Republican scandal and unabated violence in Iraq. Allen was the sixth Republican incumbent senator defeated in Tuesday’s elections.

Let's say Thank You

Show your support for the troops. Click on the below link to send a Free card. You can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to so me member of the armed services. How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Maybe he “aint “so bad!

I am certainly not a GW Bush fan, but as much as it distresses me to say it
THIS video has almost changed my mind.

A sign of intelligence is being able to not always take yourself seriously. I certainly think a person that uses humor and in this case humor to poke fun at them self is not all bad.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Reading Kerry's mind?

Did John Kerry make a Freudian slip? Or did he truly mean that all people who do not apply themselves in school are” losers” who will end up in the military.

My personal thought is that he said something even more damning than the thought that “dumb people join the military.” We all know that dumb people do not populate the military; in fact some of the best and brightest who do not have the means to further their education join the military.

Yes I voted for Kerry over Bush, but that was my choice for “the lesser of 2 evils.”

For those of you who know me and think that my “take” on Kerry’s remark has any party affiliation. It does not.

Look at the remark:

"(In his remarks, Kerry told a group of California students that individuals who don't study hard and do their homework would likely "get stuck in Iraq." He says he meant to say "get US stuck in Iraq" _ a botched joke intended to criticize President Bush, not troops.)"

Kerry is clearly lying to cover a bigger issue that no one wants to think about; and certainly not before an election. He was not insulting Bush, he should have gotten that out of his system in 2004. He was not trying to insult troops.

I really think that Senator Kerry was saying that if you do not stay in school, watch out, you will be drafted.

I understand that “no one” has mentioned the draft, but if you are not stuck with your head under a blanket, please explain where all of our troops are going to come from to maintain not only Iraq – there is Afghanistan, North Korea and even more to the point Iran. How is the US Government going to maintain its “war on terror” without soldiers?

The Bush administration has pulled thousands of reservists into active military. The reservists knew that this was a by product of their agreement with the US Government for funding of college educations.

I am certain that these people serve the Country well. However, you are now seeing reservists that were formally bankers, accountants, and policemen: any profession that you can name not called to duty once, but countless times with their tours in Iraq extended 2-3 years with no notice or care for their personal lives from the White House.

So back to Kerry and his supposed apology; yes what he said was crass. It did sound demeaning to our troops, but the message was not for our troops nor for Bush as that was not who he was addressing.

He was addressing college students. College Students who if they do not do well and do not stay in school will be the primary candidates for a draft process, I think he was giving them a timely warning.

I do think less of Kerry for not having the gumption to clarify his remark. Perhaps I am giving him too much credit and perhaps he was simply being elitist. I however, am buying into the Freudian slip that equates to: stay in college or you could get stuck in Iraq: drafted.

Please think about who you vote for very carefully on November 7, 2006. The writing is on the wall.

“Unless the next draft is different from those in the past, no one will be drafted to be in the Navy, Marines, Air Force or National Guard. Those more glamorous branches will have their populations increased by "volunteers" who don't want to be drafted into the Army. It is the Army that requires the most in numbers. And it is the Army that has experience training ordinary, reluctant young men to be soldiers. "Deborah White,

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

People who believe ?

Someone who I thought I knew sent me this email asking me if it was true.
No it is not true. It is a fabrication. It is ridiculous. Please do not send shit like this to me ever again. If you have to ask, then maybe you need to ask a psychiatrist.

However out of curiosity I did go look up Billy Graham just to see what happened during his Katrina visit to New Orleans.

I found the above posted picture. If Billy does not look exactly like what I thought the devil looked like when I was a child – well then the story below is true…

Billy Graham in New Orleans

In what might prove to be the crowning achievement of an illustrious career in ministry, the 87-year-old evangelist, Billy Graham shocked the 16,300 in attendance at the Celebration of Hope crusade in New Orleans Arena on Sunday Night. Touted in advance as possibly his last evangelistic crusade, Graham invited the packed house of evangelical Christians and the hundreds of new converts to join him on the one mile walk from the arena to New Orleans' infamous Bourbon Street."While we have seen God do tremendous things here the past couple of evenings. Yes, it is true that a great healing and a great many salvations have occurred within the confines of this auditorium. Still yet, there lies a great mountain in this city which needs to be conquered."Then taking from the Biblical Book of Joshua Chapter 14 he read, "I am this day, eighty-five years old. As yet I am as strong this Day as on the day that Moses sent me; just as my strength was then, so now is my strength for war, both for going out and for coming in. Now therefore, give me this mountain of which the Lord spoke in that day," his voice suddenly sounding more forceful than during his 22 minute sermon."I last preached in the City of New Orleans in 1954 and I felt then that there was some unfinished business. Tonight, in what very well might be my last evangelistic service, I aim to finish that business and lead as many of you that would follow me to the multitude of lost souls that fill Bourbon Street tonight. That is my mountain !
That is where we shall see the harvest!" said Graham as the stadium erupted in cheers that lasted the next several minutes. Utilizing a waiting mobility scooter, the elder Graham joined his son and heir to the ministry, Franklin across the Arena floor and through the opened doors leading towards the French Quarter. In a show of solidarity and determination reminiscent of civil rights marches of the 1960's, nearly the entire capacity crowd joined in the 20 minute trek while singing, "When the Saints Go Marching In".As the march crossed Canal Street and headed northward towards Bourbon Street, many onlookers stood in stunned silence as the massive crowd of people began singing in unison the Christian hymn, Amazing Grace. Upon entering the west end of Bourbon Street, Billy Graham was soon recognized by partiers.Soon those joining in the march began to approach those partying on Bourbon Street with the Gospel message that they had heard preached just a half hour before. Graham himself joined with a group of local street evangelist in ministering to a man who had survived Hurricane Katrina in the lower 9th Ward.Within 30 minutes the entirety of Bourbon Street was packed with Christians and the once blaring music of nightclubs and strip joints had been replaced by weeping and worship as people poured out their drinks and sought prayer from the Christians who were now reaching out to them."I have never seen anything like this in my life," said 20 years New Orleans Police Department veteran, Tom Phillips. "This is unbelievable! We thought a riot was going to break out, but this looks more like a revival than a riot!"Two hours later, a glowing Graham sat back down on his scooter and smiled. "Now I know how the Apostle Paul must have felt at the end of his ministry. Do the work of an evangelist; make full proof of thy ministry. For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."Hours later hundreds of Christians remained on the street ministering to the many people eagerly waiting to receive prayer and ministry. New Orleans will never be the same. And the press remained mute on this "news item?" Did anyone see it on TV/heard on radio/read in the paper?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

INXS - Never Tear Us Apart

Michael Hutchinson - Another: HOTTY!!

How could I have forgotten him? He is so much more profound than the Pilot guy or the one from Bay City Rollers...

No Mullet either... this is where my taste starts to improve.


Saturday, October 28, 2006

Hypocrisy Rules in the US

I have mentioned that I listen to Rush everyday. Typically I find him obnoxious but not really offensive. This week he transformed into the “Talent on Loan from God” to the “Tactless Fool on Loan from the Looney Bin.

His comments about Michael J Fox’s commercials for Democratic candidates supporting Steam Cell research were insufferable. In some ways it reminded me of Tom Cruise spouting his rhetoric with regards to Brooke Shields taking Paxil to overcome post partum depression.

How completely irresponsible and insensitive Rush Limbaugh’s comments were on the subject of Parkinson’s disease and Michael J Fox probably can never be truly measured. Rush is an entertainer not a doctor, yet his HUGE ego allowed him to assert to his minion of doting fans that Michael J Fox was faking the effects of his disease in order to make Republicans look like people that were callus and uncaring about those dying from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s disease.

"He is exaggerating the effects of the disease," Limbaugh told listeners. "He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act. . . . This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting."

After a backlash from the “drive by media” Rush changed his tact and gave an insipid apology. He then changed direction to try and back up his egregious faux pas by saying that not him, but Democrats were exploiting Michael’s disease by having him campaign for them under the guise of a terminally ill person who is seeking a cure.

My mother is dying from Parkinson’s. She is also diabetic. I can assure you as her body falls apart her mind remains as sharply intact. My point being, Michael J Fox is a very bright man who is on the fore front of advocacy for Steam Cell Research. The Republican Party led by Bush has taken a moral road leading toward the dark ages of research by claiming that Embryonic Steam Cell Research is akin to abortion and cloning.

Rush to cover his embarrassment is telling the 9,999,999 brainwashed listeners that this is exactly true. Supporting Embryonic Steam Cell Research is like supporting the murder of babies. The stats for Rush’s show are 10 million daily, I am obviously excluding myself from the census number of those who follow his every word with bated breath. Rush is also asserting, because he evidently feels that he is now an expert on the subject of steam cell research, that there is no evidence whatsoever that supports Embryonic Steam Cell research and its effects on possible cures for Parkinson’s , Diabetes and Alzheimer’s.

I guess that there is not as much factual evidence that supports Embryonic Steam Cell Research, because there has been no money put into the Federal Budget to support the research confirming the evidence.

Just like Michael J Fox should be allowed to support any candidate of his choice, I should be able to donate my eggs for embryonic research. Men go into sperm banks every day and make a “deposit” for money. Each month women flush eggs down the toilet. What a profound waste when eggs and sperm could be placed together on a little slide and provide science with a mechanism to prove the validity of Embryonic Steam Cell Research; hopefully leading to a cure for Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

It is my contention that if an embryo is not placed in a woman’s womb – it is not a baby. It is never going to be a baby. Also – let me just throw this out as a last thought. Even if the majority of Embryonic Steam Cell research was done with aborted fetuses – so what? Abortion is legal.

George Bush legislates his religious beliefs to the detriment of scientific progress. Rush Limbaugh is jumping on the wagon by pretending to actually know something about Embryonic Steam Cell Research and Parkinson’s. He has the audacity to call Michael J Fox a Faker and the Democrats Users; when that is exactly what he does on everyday on his radio show.

Rush feels that he can say whatever he wants, yet the rest of us are too stupid to state an opinion without being taken advantage of. Not only is Rush Limbaugh a hypocrite, but a hate monger who definitely takes advantage of his listener's ignorance.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Inconsiderate bastard...

Maybe the point is not to park every f’n night in front of my house.

Tonight after the 5th time I have had to park a block away from my house, I came home and the little bastard and his insipid wife who live across the street were out on their porch. I have not been able to park because this couple likes to park their SUV in front of my house. I gently bumped their fat ass bumper as I attempted with practiced skill to Parallel Park between their car and the car of their friend and the big telephone pole.

These people live across the street from me and have a plethora of parking available but it seems that the most desirable place would naturally be in front of my house.

I skillfully put the SUV in place then moved into ½ inch of his bumper. They sat and stared at me like I had run over their cat.

I noted that if I did not move my car back, that they were going to have the audacity to call me on it. Let me point out there is a huge mini pod in front of their car, so unless I moved mine they would not be able to get out. I should have just gone in and gone to bed and let them stew about it overnight.

After taking my 5 loads of crap out of the SUV then waiting 10 minutes so the couple could get into a fight with each other about what to do with me; I moved my vehicle back 2’.

I must say I did a good thing by moving my truck back as these neighbors do fight – and I diffused their interacting by moving the vehicle. He was saying to her, “I am going over and telling Rapootin Bitch to move her car back”. The Wife was saying,” leave it alone, it is late and she leaves before you in the morning anyway.”

I am now considering going out and moving just a tad closer to make it just that much more difficult for the guy to get out tomorrow morning. Of Course he has been maintaining his position in front of my house for 3 days so who knows maybe he really does not care. As this is not our first run in with regard to him and his wife and all of their friends parking in front of my house I guess he really could give a –it.

Evidently I simply need to park at an awkward angle in front of their house and see how they like it. I guess they would probably not again care as they would still be happily parked in front of my house.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Please tell me that someone got the story wrong...

Perhaps someone would like to shed some light on a conversation I just had with one of my friend's mother. To clarify the players, we will call the friend’s mom Wilma, the friend Jenna and Jenna’s daughter Brandy. I will also preface that conversation actually did take place, and has left me confused.

Wilma calls me up this evening and was really distressed. She said that she had just found out that Brandy, her grand daughter was not going to school where her daughter, Jenna had indicated.

The background to this conversation is that Jenna tried to commit suicide 4 times last year. After the 4th attempt she was asked to leave the public school she attended and seek professional counseling. I might add that all of these suicide attempts were on the school grounds. Anyway, Jenna finds a counseling out patient facility for her daughter and sends her off to live with her father in Houston. This facility is geared towards helping kids that have been transplanted from New Orleans into Texas after Katrina.

So Brandy has had 4 suicide attempts, but has gone through all the mandated counseling. I saw her number of times this summer and she seemed like she was doing well. Brandy is 17 and in her senior year in high school. Jenna mentioned to her mother that she thought there might be a potential problem getting Brandy back into the one and only small public school in the even smaller Texas town that they relocated to after Katrina.

As Brandy is a very bright and artistically gifted girl Wilma and I say well lets try to get her in to NOCCA here in New Orleans. Jenna who has become very church oriented since her move, refused to even consider moving her daughter back to New Orleans.

So, here is the conversation Wilma just had with me:

Raspootin, I have to go to see Jenna and Brandy immediately”

“Why Wilma – is something wrong?”

“You remember how we wanted Brandy to come back here for her senior year? Well, you will never guess where she is going to High school”


“Every morning Brandy gets up and puts on an orange jump suit and is required by Texas law to take classes with the juveniles at the prison”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, because attempted suicide is illegal in Texas and as Brandy tried to kill herself 4 times on School property she is now required to go to the prison and attend classes for 80 days.”

Okay I looked all over the internet to see if there is such a law. I promise you I am not making up the conversation. I can not find any information on said law in Texas. If anyone can shed some light on the factuality of this I would be very interested to hear.

If seems inconceivable to me that Jenna would have let Brandy back in the Texas School System if she knew that this was going to happen. It also makes Brandy, who scored in the 1700 range on her SAT’s SOL for getting accepted into a good college.

Wilma can get things wrong. Wilma often gets things wrong. I hate to call Jenna and ask her what is going on as she has spoken to me every week since the school year began and never mentioned it.

I can not imagine that this is true. But if it is, Texas is a very scary place to raise a child.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Religion and School

My daughter came home with her report card last week. The only grades on there are E=excellent, S=satisfactory, N=Needs improvement, and some others that are basically equal to D's and F's. Well everything was great except for her religion grade. She receive an "N" on making the sign of the cross and saying the Angel of God. Now, I am a Christian and I am religious but I feel when I pay to send my child to school she is there for an education with a Christian background not the other way around. I find a huge issue with her receiving this not to mention the first thing listed on the report card is the religion section which makes me think this is before the educational part of learning. Before anyone says anything mean just know Yes, it was my choice to send her to a catholic school and no we are not catholic. Yes I do agree that she must participate with the religious part b/c it is a Catholic school but I do not think so much emphasis should be put on that part. Not to mention they are fully aware she is not catholic b/c they made me pay the non-catholic rate plus the out of parish fee since I don't attend church there. On top of all that I couldn't even get a family discount for my other daughter who goes there b/c we're not catholic. So what do you do now? I have to make her learn it so she doesn't get a bad grade on it. She makes the sign of the cross just fine from what I can tell and she says the Angel of God pretty good to me too. If you know me you know I had a huge inner struggle sending her here b/c I knew the religion was going to be a HUGE part but I guess I had hoped that more focus would be on education. The other issue I have with this school is every time I blink they are asking me to send buy or send something as a "donation". I paid my tuition plus a lot of extra stuff and now they are constantly asking me for stuff. If you want me to "donate" all of this just make up a name for some fee at registration and charge me then. Leave me alone during the year b/c all it does is piss me off that I have to keep putting money out. With that said I will end this post. My daughter seems fine with the school but was highly upset that she receive "N's" on her report card. Not to mention she couldn't get her star at karate b/c of these "N's". I'm patiently trying to think of a nice way to address this with the teacher without making an enemy. It's too early in the school year to piss off the school staff.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Bay City Rollers I Only want to be with you

Les McKeown yeah

This was my second Big "crush".

I must have liked him better than the guy from Pilot as I can remember his first and last name!
Magic - Pilot

This was my first "crush".
(Lead singer Paton)

I even had posters in my bedroom. Now I can not even remember his first name.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Is spastic politically incorrect?

Just a quick post as I am using it as avoidance for walking this evening.

I hate going to the grocery store for a number of reasons. The first reason is because no matter how hard I try I always get the cart suffering from spacsticity. Either the wheels clench up and go no where or they wobble all over the place with the exception of towing the straight line. This never happens when you are outside the store where it is convenient to pick a different cart. It is a cart disease that only comes on when you place items in it and are half way through your shopping experience.

I assume if you pick a cart that is out in the lot far, far from the crowd of carts placed in front of the store that it would mean that some other stupid bastard had taken it for a roll around the store then walked it out to their car. So there is a better chance that the cart does not have spastic problems. I am going to have re-think my selection process in the future.

The second thing that is always a challenge is picking out the correct check out lane. Not only do you then have to deal with the spacsticity of your cart but that of the check out person and most typically the person in front of you. It simply should not take an organized person 15 minutes to check out with 10 items. Ladies are the worst. This is not the time to chat. This is the time to take out you check book and start writing the pertinent information.

If you are standing in front of me, but behind the person that needs the checkout person to go fetch cigarettes or liquor this is the time to raise your hand and say, while you are there would you please get me X too. Not the time to read the National Enquirer and then ask the clerk to repeat the process when it is your turn to check out.

When exiting the store how come everyone that is simultaneously leaving is always parked on either side of my car. I was there first yet now they have squeezed me in between their hideous oversized SUVs. They know unless I was to have the elasticity of a rubber band that I can not squeeze into the space between the cars and open my door until they are finished and pull out.

Today the lady even had the audacity not only take 10 minutes to unload her cart as she had to do it one handed because it was very important for her to talk on her cell, she left her cart behind my car but then banged her door into mine. She sweetly said “oh sorry hon. I can be so spastic sometimes.”

I hate going grocery shopping.

Oops so dark now that I guess I shall have to save the walking for tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Good things come to those...

The initial gut

Paranoia at its best

Finally a bit of progress

After 2.5 months I believe that my contractor is finally on track to finishing this weekend!

Picture one is the initial gutting.

Picture 2 has a bit more thought behind it. After the initial gutting the floor was removed. My house is raised, giving me a very introspective view of the ground underneath the house. The room stayed in this same state for over a month. One night while visiting the Kentwood water dispenser I heard a scuttle noise in the bathroom that made me retreat back to my bedroom. After deciding that I was being a pussy I armed myself with a tennis racket and proceeded back towards the bathroom. I stopped half way thinking there is no way I want to get as close as a tennis racket will take me to a rat – so I retreated and armed my self with a large broom.

Back on the scene I knew that there was no way that I was going to open the door to the bathroom, so I opted for the obvious choice by moving the box containing the pedestal sink bottom in front of the door. To make it even more secure I inserted placemats behind the box. You might wonder why the Kentwood water bottle is on top of the box. It was my thought at 3am that if the rat was big enough to get around the box and placemats that I needed a warning system to alert me to its entrance into the rest of the house. Luckily when I woke up in the morning to revisit, the water bottle (which was empty) was still standing erect, meaning the house had not been invaded.

My contractor, who actually, showed up the next morning, seemed really put out that I did not trust his assertion and hand over heart proclamation that he had put enough rat poison under my house to kill an elephant. I informed him that as he was not walking through my house barefoot at midnight that his feelings being hurt were not my problem.

He nicely replaced the box and placemats oh and I forgot just to fill out the space I stacked up his boxes of nails. I guess he did not want to find me dead of a stroke or heart attack should I actually see a rat. The beauty of respect by not paying the contractor until the job is done.

Picture 3 was taken about 2 weeks ago. Today when I got home, I was informed that they would have the bathroom completed by the weekend. I am not holding my breath… Next project is my second bathroom and my bedroom floor. I will post the final results for this bathroom hopefully this weekend and I did actually take “before” shots of the second bathroom to make the whole transformation process more interesting.

The progression on this project will likely be slow too. I love living in New Orleans post Katrina!!! Contractors were bastards before the storm and now they are have elevated from bastard to self proclaimed demy-gods. Oh well what can you do or say if you have absolutely no handy-skills to speak of. I am just happy that I got someone to do the job.

Monday, October 16, 2006

What's up with the Bookies?

I feel the need to interject a point with regard to odds and who wins the football game.

Last year all the bookie's favorites (ones not based on the point spread) meaning that you won each week if you were not giving up the points but definitely it you were picking straight up; gave a process about picking the correct, out right winner.

This year not only can you not trust the bookies, they must be pissed because not only is the point spread off, but the underdog wins which no matter how ya look at it makes them lose.

This week six favorites lost out right to underdogs, no point spread. If you look at the point spread, the figure goes up to 10. That would mean thus far 10/13 which is a 77% failure rate.

I am watching the Arizona/ Chicago game now and find it unbelievable that Arizona is beating Chicago 17 -0 . Arizona has won one game all season and that was against San Francisco. I do not get it. What is up with football this year? What I find even more curious, what is up with the Las Vegas bookies??? Chicago was an 11 point favorite…

If you have never bet on a game because you feel you don’t know enough, I guarantee now is the time to make money.

I would never recommend gambling out of a legal thought set… but a friendly placement of money by friends makes the whole experience even more exciting, especially knowing that the bookies are not predicting the winners; not even giving up points correctly.

I remember my biggest scare in “last man stands” where you pick one team a week, never repeating the team was Indianapolis vs. Tennessee. Indianapolis was an 18.5 favorite and the final score was Indi 14/ Tenn. 13.

Bon Chance in the betting arena, I am back to the last part of Chicago and Arizona.

And of course I must say : GO SAINTS!!!!

The Saints were a 3 point underdog to The Eagles winning 27/24/

I just looked before posting and now the score is 20 zip???? in the Chicago/Arizona game.

Let me do the math: 84.5% failure rate on the odds makers this week if Arizona wins.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I still think they are being way too literary...

Jerry Casale and Mark Mothersbaugh formed Devo when they were students at Kent State University. Jerry explains how the song came together:

"Whip It, like many Devo songs, had a long gestation, a long process. The lyrics were written by me as an imitation of Thomas Pynchon's parodies in his book Gravity's Rainbow. He had parodied limericks and poems of kind of all-American, obsessive, cult of personality ideas like Horatio Alger and 'You're #1, there's nobody else like you' kind of poems that were very funny and very clever. I thought, 'I'd like to do one like Thomas Pynchon,' so I wrote down 'Whip It' one night. Mark had recorded some sketches for song ideas in his apartment, and when we'd get together every day to write, rehearse and practice, we would listen to everybody's snippets of ideas. He had this tape with about 8 things on it, and one of them had a drum beat that was very interesting, it became the 'Whip It' drum beat.

“In 1974, the three-member Pulitzer Prize jury on fiction unanimously supported Gravity's Rainbow for the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. However, the other eleven members of the board overturned this decision, branding the book "unreadable", "turgid", "overwritten", and "obscene". The novel was nominated for the 1973 Nebula Award for Best Novel, and won the National Book Award in 1974. Since its publication, Gravity's Rainbow has spawned an enormous amount of literary criticism and commentary, including two reader's guides and several online concordances, and is widely regarded as Pynchon's magnum opus.”

“Devo's music and videos were based on the concept of "De-Evolution," meaning that mankind is regressing. They dressed alike in their videos to convey the lack of individuality in the world. Casale: "I think a lot of Devo is in 'Whip It.' There's Americana mixed with something menacing, there's irony and humor, there's a hook and a big dance beat, there are interesting synth parts, lyrics that aren't the typical lyrics about getting laid or losing your baby. Although we weren't trying, it was a pretty concentrated dose of Devo in Whip It."

“In The 80s - Top Five Songs About Masturbation From the 80s
I understand the term "wanker" has a slightly different meaning in the ... Another theory From John Stephens: Actually, Devo's video for "Whip It" was a ...

This is was always my personal opinion... however if it was of a higher brow, all good, as if nothing else it is a great video pioneer! (excuse the pun)

“Proctor & Gamble, who make the Swiffer, originally had them re-record this for the commercial as "You must swiff it," but their lawyers found out that copyrighting "Swiff It" and the product implications down the line could cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars, so they changed the lyrics to "You must Swiffer" so they wouldn't have to copyright "Swiff It."”

I am familiar with Thomas Pynchon but I can not see how “Whip it” is a take off on any of his novels, even “Gravity's Rainbow”. I have not read said book, but hmmm I remember when DEVO came out as a band I thought it was about “wanking” – the press thought it was about whips, chains and women dressed in black. Evidently, I am so under educated that I am simply missing the Pynchon connection. Any literary thoughts on “Gravity’ Rainbow” with comparison to “Whip it” would be appreciated…

DEVO - Are We Not Men?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Month of the Comet.

these are the actual pictures of the comet

Tonight is all about the comet. Russian - astronomer Nikolai Fedorovskiy has predicted that a large comet will penetrate the earth’s atmosphere sometime around the end of October 2006. Yes, that would be this month.

Okay, I will admit that this is going to be my quintessential apoplectic week. What will happen if the comet hits, and where will it strike?

“The impact will cause devastating tsunamis, earthquakes and avalanches, says Fedorovsky. He saw the killer comet in a telescope two weeks ago. He managed to calculate the comet’s trajectory

I do not want to add to the going to hell in a hand basket approach of my last post, but I can not help myself. Do I think unlike the movie Armageddon the other Big Fat comet movie that came out a couple of years ago that the American government would tell us if there was impending doom? Hell No. I do not think we would know the sucker was going to hit us until it was clearly visible in the sky. At that point the government still would not have told us anything, it would be a simple deduction of the eye.

Why would our government keep critical information from the populous? Because just like the Natural disaster that we recently went through here in New Orleans, there would be nothing they could do about it. In fact, there would be less they would have to do if everyone just died.

So who is Nikolai Fedorovskiy?

“Dr. Fedorovskiy is one of the founding directors of the mysterious Paradigm Hedge Funds that protects the assets of a large number of the World’s Organizatsiya, and whose predictive computer programme designed to protect their hedge funds massive assets, and developed with his fellow Scientist-Mathematician Dr. Tatyana Koryagina, gave a predictive warning of the September 11, 2001 attack upon the United States and which enabled many Russians to protect their investments

Evidently he is a known figure amongst Russian Investors and is quite revered with his predictions via mathematical equation on many sites that corroborate the prophecies of Nostradamus.

So what does this all mean? Is the world as we know it going to end at the end of the month?

The world as I knew it as a child ended many years ago. Would it not be sublime to go back to a time where the only thing you worried about was how late you could stay up and how many cookies you could eat after school. To go back to a time where your parents were like mini gods, everything they said being absolute. Santa Claus was flying and The Easter Bunny hopping.

Back to the comet, Dr. Fedorovskiy, says it will hit our Southern Polar Region.

“Lending credence to Dr. Fedorovskiy’s reports are that the precursor events he predicted in August, 2006, of a number of smaller space meteors being pushed into our Earths atmosphere ahead of the arrival of the Great Comet do indeed seem to be occurring, and as we can read from these various reports: As reported by New Zealand’s Stuff News Service in their September 21st report titled "Yellow fireball seen in Waikato sky", and which says, "A bright yellow ball was seen streaking across the Hamilton sky about 6.15pm yesterday, leaving a whispy black line in its wake. Times reporter Aaron Leaman saw the object and thought it was a meteor. He saw the object from the Waikato University tennis courts and said it was heading west toward Raglan. It was visible for about 30 seconds before dropping out of sight."

“For in his past, Dr. Fedorovskiy was indeed correct about the events of September 11, 2001, and whether or not his current prediction of this Great Comet hitting our Earth is correct, or it is instead a subterfuge designed to cover a more serious warning of times to come, either way his words do bear, in our opinion, to be seriously considered, and whatever context they may be in.”

I do not have a telescope, I do not have visionary powers, but I none the less have to wonder if there is truth to this. You can get more information at THIS site. What I find particularly depressing is that even if there is no credence in the comet, there is great credence that we are in a very scary world. I do not think the end of times is now upon us as a result of scriptures from varying religions as much as from our ignorance about not doing anything to stop what some very wise men prophesied.

This is the English translation of the above site…