Thursday, May 21, 2009

My strange sense of humor


The Monkey

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a
drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around
the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them.
Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the
billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's
amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your
monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats
everything in sight, the little idiot. Sorry. I'll pay for
everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill,
pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey
is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and
eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it
out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still
eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that
cue ball, he measures everything first."

thanks bw :)

56 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

snort*

bwcubed said...

that's why i don't really believe in evolution, monkeys are way smarter than we are. ha ha

Raspootin said...

Ha snort and yup i dont have much faith in the intelligence level of many people...

Imperadør Hasemörder said...

Snort gasp humm... I wrote a post a few days ago but was unable to post it. I completely redid the database and upgraded my blog software (a day's worth of learnin') and was finally able to publish again. Saturday nitz was the first blog i checked on since. Check out my blog.

Raspootin said...

I will check it out

Anonymous said...

could always be worse

Anonymous said...

bad side effects of viagra viagra uk cost pill viagra cheap buy online ship free viagra sample too much viagra viagra generique make your own viagra buy generic viagra viagra england cialis viagra free sample prescription for viagra how long does viagra last viagra sales viagra and hearing loss

Anonymous said...

[url=http://community.bsu.edu/members/buy+online+Viagra.aspx]fedex Viagra without priscription[/url]

Anonymous said...

And, what here ridiculous?

Anonymous said...

Here there can not be a mistake?

Anonymous said...

At you a uneasy choice

Anonymous said...

Interestingly, and the analogue is?


I suggest you to come on a site, with an information large quantity on a theme interesting you. For myself I have found a lot of the interesting. Hot Health

Anonymous said...

I want not agree on it. I think warm-hearted post. Especially the designation attracted me to review the whole story.

Anonymous said...

Genial dispatch and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you for your information.

Anonymous said...

[b]Компания GPS-Group предлагает:[/b]

- GPS навигация(для транспорта, КПК, мобильных телефонов).

- Навигаторы(для охоты, рыбалки, путешествий(туристические, автомобильные)).

- Любая модель навигатора Garmin под заказ! Доставка в ваш город бесплатно!

- Установка програмного обеспечения и картографии на ваш навигатор.

- Системы контроля передвижных объектов. Gps логгеры и треккеры для отслеживания текущего местонахождения и пройденого пути(сидя на работе вы всегда будете в курсе где находится ваш автомобиль, родные или близкие люди).

- Оптимизация затрат по транспорту.

- Автомобильные сигнализации с возможностью оперативного отслеживания и дистанционного блокирования двигателя в случае угона или нападения.

- Отслеживание и просмотр места нахождения транспорта в режиме реального времени, просмотр пройденого маршрута.

- Датчики для контроля уровня и расхода топлива(позволяют отслеживать объем и места заправок, возможных сливов/недозаливов топлива; вести учет расхода топлива для всего автопарка не по установленным нормам, а по реальному расходу). Датчики включеного/отключеного зажигания и т.д.

[url=http://gps-group.hdd1.ru]Узнать подробнее…[/url]
http://gps-group.hdd1.ru

Anonymous said...

Cool article you got here. It would be great to read something more concerning this theme. Thnx for giving that info.

Anonymous said...

Мне вот кажется, что такое написать мог то ли креативный гений, то ли героиновый наркоман :(

Anonymous said...

У нас в Дагестане за такие слова могут и камням изакидать :(

Anonymous said...

good evening ppl. I'm honestly into shoes and I had been looking for the sake of that exact make. The prices due to the fact that the velcros were about 350 pounds everwhere. But definitively I set this site selling them for the benefit of half price. I exceptionally like those [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will absolutely purchase them. what is your opinion?

Anonymous said...

carnival singles cruises [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]directdating[/url] chris dailey dating http://loveepicentre.com/ new datingsite for free registration and membership

Anonymous said...

Не очень люблю такие тексты %:(

Anonymous said...

В Вашей RSS нельзя получать полные тексты записей, что ли?

Anonymous said...

Логотип мне нравится:)

Anonymous said...

У Вас долго загружается блог - видимо, хостинг плоховат

Anonymous said...

Об этом уже писал кто-то из моих ЖЖ-френдов :(

Anonymous said...

Прошу прощения за оффтопик.
Вы продаете сквозные ссылки с сайта? Если да, свяжитесь со мной, плз!

Anonymous said...

[b]Altina A8xx, ET922, AT60, S320, GlobalSat TR-203 (3 м)[/b]

[url=http://info.je1.ru/GPS_043.html]Подробнее...[/url]

Anonymous said...

На словах ты Лев Толстой, а не деле ... простой!

Anonymous said...

На словах ты Лев Толстой, а не деле ... простой!

Anonymous said...

А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

Anonymous said...

А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

Anonymous said...

А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

Anonymous said...

А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

Anonymous said...

Задумались о презентах на день рождения сыну, ему три с половиной года, разные-машинки-конструкторы у него есть много, он любит мышонка Тич. Я откапала типа подобной игрушки, только медведя http://mishkiland.ru/subcategory_item.php?id=601 , кто-либо покупал такого? Стоит брать? Или порекомендуйте что-либо еще. Не дайте сыну остаться без презента от папы с мамой.

Anonymous said...

У нас в жж за такой пост бы закидали какашками в каментах:)

Anonymous said...

У нас в жж за такой пост бы закидали какашками в каментах:)

Anonymous said...

Подскажите, а у вас сквозную ссылку купить можно? Если да, сообщите цену на мыло, пожалуйста?

Anonymous said...

Подскажите, а у вас сквозную ссылку купить можно? Если да, сообщите цену на мыло, пожалуйста?

Anonymous said...

Кино http://www.film-book.ru

Anonymous said...

hi there ppl. I'm honestly into shoes and I have been looking as far as something that particular make. The prices seeking the velcros are around 190 pounds on every page. But definitively I found this locate selling them someone is concerned half price. I in reality like these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]gucci sneakers[/url]. I will absolutely buy these. what is your opinion?

Anonymous said...

Хорошая статья. Действительно было интересно почитать. Не часто такое и встречается та.Наверное стоит подписаться на ваше RSS

Anonymous said...

http://healthboard.in/cymbalta/higher-dosages-of-cymbalta-for-trd
[url=http://healthboard.in/carbohydrate/effectiveness-of-high-carbohydrate-and-low-fat-diet-for-athelete]marinol and drug testing[/url] alcohol erectile [url=http://healthboard.in/diamox/altititude-sickness-and-diamox]altititude sickness and diamox[/url]
viagra energy drink http://healthboard.in/colchicine/grapefruit-colchicine
[url=http://healthboard.in/body-building/body-building-competitions]codiene drug test[/url] dreampharmaceuticals buy levitra online [url=http://healthboard.in/cytotec/dr-maynard-cytotec-murder]dr maynard cytotec murder[/url]
what to tell doctor to get drugs http://healthboard.in/coreg/coreg-free-trials
[url=http://healthboard.in/colchicine/colchicine-laced-marijuana]szasz drugs[/url] minnesota pharmacy [url=http://healthboard.in/carbamazepine/carbamazepine-ototoxicity]carbamazepine ototoxicity[/url] canola health [url=http://healthboard.in/depakote/what-happens-when-you-over-dose-on-depakote]what happens when you over dose on depakote[/url]

Anonymous said...

able to travel http://atravel.in/maps_copying-export-maps-to-a-new-computer-in-worldship national geographic travel adventure ship
[url=http://atravel.in/map_hawaiian-island-chain-map]insurance lloyds travel tsb[/url] purchase used travel trailer [url=http://atravel.in/disneyland_what-are-park-hopper-tickets-at-disneyland]what are park hopper tickets at disneyland[/url]
tollsworth travel lodge http://atravel.in/flight_flight-editor-for-fsx
[url=http://atravel.in/tourism_dallas-texas-tourism]adventure travel destinations[/url] travel now of menominie [url=http://atravel.in/airline_airline-seat-counter]airline seat counter[/url]
travel hotel http://atravel.in/airline_experian-airline-tickets-to-new-york-city atomic travel alarm clock [url=http://atravel.in/cruises]cruises[/url]

Anonymous said...

travel expenses vat swedish regulation http://wikitravel.in/vacation-packages/myrtle-beach-vacation-getaway-packages evolution travel
[url=http://wikitravel.in/tourism/tourism-an-marketing]cool tropical travel sites[/url] should i give up my dog and travel [url=http://wikitravel.in/tour/blue-october-tour]blue october tour[/url]
leather travel valet http://wikitravel.in/vacation-packages/vacation-packages-to-germany
[url=http://wikitravel.in/adventure/adventure-westfield]holland affordable travel[/url] bradt travel guide uganda [url=http://wikitravel.in/travel/travel-lodge-ludlow-racecourse]travel lodge ludlow racecourse[/url]
a qualified travel brochure http://wikitravel.in/airport/ado-airport travel flight planner [url=http://wikitravel.in/airport/jimmy-stewart-airport]jimmy stewart airport[/url]

Anonymous said...

retro nike basketball shoes http://topcitystyle.com/?action=products&product_id=2273 online dog clothes patterns [url=http://topcitystyle.com/-sport-bags-men-category79.html]insole shoes[/url] unique mens casual shoes
http://topcitystyle.com/48-men-size1.html olympus fashion week [url=http://topcitystyle.com/t-shirts-for-men-page21.html]vintage gucci bags[/url]

Anonymous said...

the weather chanel http://topcitystyle.com/sweet-years-long-sleeve-tops-brand50.html san francisco shoestring [url=http://topcitystyle.com/l-club-wear-size7.html]interior designers outlet[/url] spoon fashion
http://topcitystyle.com/a-m-n-madness-national-tight-fit-pants--item1338.html wide width dress shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/on-sale-page44.html]replica designer handbags and accessesories[/url]

Anonymous said...

very extreme gagging dick porn http://xwe.in/erotic-video/erotic-deer-art
[url=http://xwe.in/girl-anal/extreme-anal-bondage]adult personal brisbane[/url] free teen boy porn [url=http://xwe.in/gay-anal/young-gay-boy-web-sites]young gay boy web sites[/url]
amateur couples fucking http://xwe.in/orgy/hot-swinger-sex-orgy-pictures
[url=http://xwe.in/erotic-gay/free-erotic-coupons]lesbian amateur porn video[/url] dildo machines [url=http://xwe.in/erotic-video/erotic-reads-with-pics]erotic reads with pics[/url]
adult site review twins http://xwe.in/gay-anal/gay-punish-boy-in-pe-lesson
[url=http://xwe.in/teen-ass/what-is-ass-to-mouth]sexy preteen videos[/url] porn pictures and videos free [url=http://xwe.in/blow/let-the-wind-blow-song]let the wind blow song[/url]
lesibian dildo sex http://xwe.in/gay-boy/gay-logo
[url=http://xwe.in/archive-adult/adult-fmodb]adult space cartoon[/url] girls sexy with video [url=http://xwe.in/blowjob/underage-blowjob]underage blowjob[/url]

Anonymous said...

last minute christmas travel http://xwg.in/lufthansa/embraer-175-safety-record ladera travel
[url=http://xwg.in/map/vermont-state-map]travel agent job postings[/url] africa travel wholesalers [url=http://xwg.in/tours/az-homes-sale-tours]az homes sale tours[/url]
travel hosting companies http://xwg.in/car-rental/car-rental-braselton-georgia
[url=http://xwg.in/tour/high-school-musical-uk-tour-2008]dracut travel basketball sports schedule[/url] hondo travel [url=http://xwg.in/flight/sherman-alexie-flight-patterns]sherman alexie flight patterns[/url]
travel to euope http://xwg.in/disneyland/disneyland-offical-site used travel trailers for sale washington [url=http://xwg.in/expedia/director-of-marketing-expedia-canada-2008]director of marketing expedia canada 2008[/url]

Anonymous said...

fashion online au http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=1413 wheelie shoes [url=http://luxefashion.us/prada-men-brand10.html]six six one shoes[/url] prayer clothes
http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=1630 simple shoes [url=http://luxefashion.us/navy-blue-white-sport-zip-jacket-and-pants-color124.html]kleinkeinder[/url]

Anonymous said...

nonin medical [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/himcolin.htm]himcolin[/url] smoking age in the united states http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/w.htm
medical equipment shop [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/doxycycline.htm]doxycycline[/url] weight loss medication albi [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/antibiotiques.htm ]small penis women [/url] new zealand secondhand smoke
pulsed magnetic brain enhancement [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/v.htm]Order Cheap Generic Drugs[/url] cranberry tea cape shore inc http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/paroxetine.htm
factors that may influence teenagers to smoke [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/magen-darm.htm]magen darm[/url] medical waste disposal service barnett [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/sleeping-aide.htm ]servit t pill [/url] starbucks berry gum

Anonymous said...

sidi bike shoes http://www.thefashionhouse.us/trussardi-one-ply-windbreaker-jackets-brand11.html mediaval clothes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/richmond-button-down-short-sleeve-shirt-for--item1994.html]designer emilio[/url] elizabethan clothes
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/smiley-world-leather-bags-tote-purses-brand103.html gucci sunglasses [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/-button-down-shirts-category94.html]born shoes on sale[/url]

Anonymous said...

marilyn klein princeton http://luxefashion.us/shoes-versace-category12.html joe klein real estate [url=http://luxefashion.us/bags-on-sale-category37.html]personalize your clothes[/url] zappos shoes
http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=894 fashion trends [url=http://luxefashion.us/b-rich-shirts-brand72.html]olivia klein[/url]

Anonymous said...

private jet travel costs http://xwl.in/flight/flight-london-to-guernsey travel wizzard
[url=http://xwl.in/airline/southwest-airline-ticket-prices]alaska travel keywords[/url] host travel companies [url=http://xwl.in/cruises/cruises-from-jacksonville-fl]cruises from jacksonville fl[/url]
florida nude travel http://xwl.in/cruise/nude-cruise-motorhomes
[url=http://xwl.in/motel/brights-hotel-motel-loganville-georgia]ukraine travel distnaces[/url] sus smith travel [url=http://xwl.in/motel/riverside-motel-manistee-michigan]riverside motel manistee michigan[/url]
living with the maori tribe travel channel http://xwl.in/inn/hampton-inn-charlottesville-va free michigan travel publication [url=http://xwl.in/cruise/discount-cruise-ncl]discount cruise ncl[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://xwv.in/isotretinoin/sotret/isotretinoin
[url=http://xwv.in/isotretinoin/pharmacokinetics/of/oral/isotretinoin]iowa laws drug testing newborns htm[/url] visen as a knock out drug [url=http://xwv.in/viagra/generic/sales/viagra]generic sales viagra[/url]
drug to curb alcohol cravings http://xwv.in/weight-loss/drink/vinegar/for/weight/loss
[url=http://xwv.in/pain-relief/minor/muscle/pain/relief]legalizin drugs[/url] loisiana book law of pharmacy [url=http://xwv.in/naltrexone/bad/side/effects/of/naltrexone]bad side effects of naltrexone[/url]
cialis advertisement http://xwv.in/linezolid/linezolid/package/upjohn
[url=http://xwv.in/kamagra/kamagra/uk/cheap]bp pharmacy[/url] slip drug [url=http://xwv.in/pantoprazole/pantoprazole/and/stomach/emptying]pantoprazole and stomach emptying[/url] how to calculate drugs for nurses [url=http://xwv.in/mycelex/mycelex/tources]mycelex tources[/url]

Anonymous said...

fantasy springs resort casino website http://wqm.in/blackjack_samsung-blackjack-phone-tools gambling rate land based casinos
[url=http://wqm.in/online-casino_golden-casino]low vision playing cards[/url] ho chunck casino [url=http://wqm.in/jokers_vietnam-helicopter-pilot-jokers]vietnam helicopter pilot jokers[/url]
michigal lottery http://wqm.in/gambling-online_web-roulette-casino-gambling-game
[url=http://wqm.in/casino-playing-cards_austrian-playing-cards]gymnastics las vegas blackjack invitational[/url] online game bonuses roulette casino gambling [url=http://wqm.in/keno_free-keno-slots]free keno slots[/url]
poker software casino deposit bonus http://wqm.in/jokers_jokers crafts playing cards [url=http://wqm.in/online-casino_blackjack-free-casino-online]blackjack free casino online[/url]

Anonymous said...

movie clip samples [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_uninvited/]uninvited[/url] movie nana http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_kaw/ che movie 1969
movie death by sunset [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_window_cleaners/]window cleaners[/url] movie space boys http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_eternal_sunshine_of_the_spotless_mind/ every movie made
dora movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_willow/]willow[/url] oldham 8 theatre lagrange movie listings
the blues brothers movie quotes [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_all_that_heaven_allows/]all that heaven allows[/url] blackthroat movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_layer_cake/ movie the punisher
kamasutra movie clips [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_forsyte_saga/]the forsyte saga[/url] ct movie theators http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_internal_affairs/ vegas movie studio platinum