Rasputin was sleeping the slumber of Kings and Queens.Airy fairies, flying high in a midsummer sky and crashing back to earth woke with a jump.
To be honest Rasputin is probably a bit on the blind side without contacts and as you can see from the pictures glasses are laying in the bed prone to be grabbed in case Rasputin needs to see a blood sucking pervert enter the bedroom.
To Rasputin’s dismay it is not a pervert but some sort of monster that stares with demonic terror into Rasputin’s admittedly iffy eyes.Knowing that the baseball bat, the iron crow bar and even the taser are not going to work against the dastardly devil staring in defiance Rasputin grabs the iphone sitting next to the bed and begins clicking pictures.Rasputin is also a bit afraid of tasering Rasputin which would not be a good defense against the evil monsters.
Of course Rasputin has a compromised I phone that has no flash so the pictures were off set with the light of the ever constant glowing lava lamp, another light defense aiding in seeing any marauding murderous intruders.
Rasputin knows if it had been an I PHONE 4 with a flash the terrifying moment would be much easier for the reader to see. However as the subject of why Rasputin does not have an I phone 4 gets Rasputin more pissed off than the devils sharing the bed at 3:15, we shall move on.
The following are the pictures taken by the brave Rasputin.
Holy crap it is either and devil or ET looking at Rasputin see the nose and the almond shaped eyes ? Maybe Rasputin needs the taser after all. No experimentation on Raspootin, a fight to the bitter end.
a side look at the alien but oh no now what does Rasputin see ?
see the out line of the face with a ear, nose , eyes and lips (oh my )
oh no there is a K does that stand for Kill Rasputin??? OMG there looks like there is a dead lady to the upper right of the picture. She looks like some one put a gag over her mouth.
There is that dead lady again
there is the alien again or could it be a demon with a hood over his head. how dare it smile at Raspootin.
To make short order of the whole situation Rasputin leaps from the bed with the skill of an Olympian and beats the blankets with crowbar in right hand and baseball bat in left.
Rasputin casts the devils and dead lady out and lives on to fight the powers of the unknown another day.
Moral of the story do not consume certain foods before sleep.
AH well what do you suppose Raspootin has now discovered? Could it be a bird could it be a plane or could it be JESUS?
Raspootin was casually standing outside enjoying the delightful smell of dead fish guts when all of a sudden it was a miracle. There right in view of the entire group was a thing of such amazing no not just amazing but astonishing, no not astonishing; BUT - EPIC -biblical proportions.
Immediately the group (not Raspootin as Raspootin would not do such a thing) bent down and started to pray. They did not even care about the fish guts; which was definitely a point of great consideration to Raspootin. The group of fisher-people was crying salty sea fishy tears of joy and wonderment.
There in front of them; was Jesus. In the skull of a Cat fish Jesus had returned. Raspootin warily looked closer and was disappointed to find that it was not Jesus (because Jesus would be much more exotic) but indeed it had to be Pope John Paul II beatified in splendorous beauty…
There was an ensuing commotion as the fisher-people and Raspootin argued the point of identification. Raspootin stuck to the story that POPE JOHN was visiting because he was slowly turning over in his heavenly grave with regards to Pope Ratzinger’s recent departures from traditional Catholicism. Imagine practicing your holy confession on an IPhone app. Appalling.
Luckily a more knowledgeable fisher man person, BILLY, showed up to save the day (and the faces of Raspootin and the Fisher- people) explaining that all Cat Fish Skulls look like Jesus and the pope.
Next time you visit LONG JOHN Silvers or any other fine dining, fish serving, establishment REMEMBER that you are in the company of Jesus and the pope so don’t pick your teeth, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t belch or fart and definitely turn that IPhone off cause Jesus and the Pope will think you are rude, which will lead to EPIC badness in the world :)
Raspootin knows that his Russian heritage makes him an obvious target for spam things like this, but what is quite odd that last night, Raspootin was watching an uncharacteristic reality show. It was all about ugly American men shopping the Russian woman market for "Mail Order Brides". In this particular show the fuggly little american man 36 years of age who lives with his parents went to Russia to meet the stero- typical blonde Russian woman who he was corresponding with.
She wanted him to pick her, but he decided against it... In Raspootin's humble opinion he should have gone for it cause his chances of meeting a woman are remote.
Raspootin wants to know in light of this email arriving bright and early the morning after the, all be it, poor choice of programming if gmail is now monitoring Raspootin's viewing habits...
Raspootin knows this is wrong on so many levels...
Drinking with an Arizona Girl
A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says,'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer ('cuz he's a Muslim), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, 'In Arizona, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
From 1930… what does it say about the lack of change in a society where women still feel that their identity and how they are viewed by others is a result of their physical appearance?
In Raspootin’s opinion; the reason women feel this way is because it is true. They are judged and viewed by their physical appearance whether it may be too dark too fair too thin too fat too young too old. 80 years later and we are still hampered by the same feelings of inadequacy stemming from a society that sets an unrealistic standard; based on a media driven optimum line the one must not deviate below or above without facing discrimination
Before you do Raspootin the courtesy of listening and reading - Raspootin wants to acknowledge that Raspootin shall certainly go into the fiery pit as described by Kurt for even posting these songs and feelings... and if a corpse can roll over in their grave; my Mom - who Raspootin loves dearly is doing so now. Raspootin's mom believed in God and it was no doubt a great disapointment that yours truely had doubts... So if she is up there may she look at this kindly and understand Raspootin's odd sense of ablity...
Raspootin does not like to talk about this: but Raspootin’s Mother died in March. Raspootin has not quite come to terms with her death. And it's really odd that these 3 songs sum up Raspootin’s feeling about death.
Seeing a person that was once alive then dead in a coffin is not a way to say goodbye. Raspootin wanted to feel that Mom was out there – some sort of connection; and there was nothing at the time of viewing and there has been nothing since.
As anyone who has followed Saturday Knights knows; Raspootin fancies as an in touch outer spiritual individual and is deeply shocked and saddened that there is just nothing but: She is dead.
Faith is a good thing for most - but reality is better.
This song is the beginning of what Raspootin thinks when thinking of death & God in general -
This is then what Raspootin wondered - Can this happen to bad people who don't believe ??? Maybe I'll see Mom on the 4th of July - cause she was good - Explains why there has been no contact/ or not / can one pretend to believe and escape the pit of hell ??? Is Kurt in the pit of hell - just saying what Raspooin was thinking.
This is what Raspootin has come to embrace… though it is not to be any reflection on Raspootin's Mom - the video is not what raspootin was talking about as much as the lyrics... oh my that tangled web we do weave when we practice to deviate from God - Dear God.
So Raspootin has been a real nasty bitchy bitch - but it hurts to have a pulled bit in your back - it really really hurts and to any knowledge that Raspooin has gained - it just has to work it self out; in like a week or two. Not good. Raspootin's friends can not put up with 2 weeks on biatch - and Raspootin does not blame them a bit.
Thank you friend - maybe this will work - and Raspootin will not be so scary; nor airy fairy on pain killers. - just saying it hurts - and the doctor said... whoo hoo be air fairy with a prescription and its OK - not... for Raspootin.
Raspootin is kinda wondering about "salt" in Epsom Salt - does that bloat ??? just wondering as it does go into skin as skin soaks.
Thank you Raspootin's Dad cause Raspootin thought that smelling like a candy cane would make a better mood even if the Espsom Salts did not work. Who could hate a Santa helper smelling Raspootin??? yeah right... Raspootin will end up like Rudolph with a red candy nose... just saying and Bloated cause the Salt and Candy Cane will assimilate into Raspootin's system with a negative ultimate.
This is the very large Tub - turn of the century - sort of like Raspootin - and I must say at 5"4 Raspootin likes this tub. Due to a nasty invasion of the most unmentionable large bug Rapootin had never used the Tub - what a waste of 2 years of wonderful soak. Hello Friend of Raspootin?? you reading this - what you did with the Epsom Salts paled to what you did to get rid of the dragons and their litter in the "soaking turn of the other century process"
Raspootin liked the soak. Rapspootin only had to execute one unmentionable - and then was able to relax in great comfort with zum candle. Thanks to Raspootin's sister for that.
Raspootin does not approve the picture; but was also never going to approve a soak pic either.
Thanks to my friend for the salts - and I am sure to be a better person for them and the soak. Raspootin is wondering about the Candy Cane bb- bath as Raspootin smells like nic - and Epsom salts ... which is not relaxing but luckily Raspootin is alone and is not offended by Raspootin's smell. Raspootin does acknowledge that purchasing more deodorant - given the current one is gone (2 days only) would also be helpful.
For the pleasure of Raspootin's co workers and clients - off to the shower now.
Second stop after gas - umm like the gas to fill up the car..; is to Rite Aid for water pills and under arm militia - why water pills - Raspootin is certain that the Salt caused water weight gain - and the lack of under arm personal smell hygiene has just made the bloat worse.
Course Raspootin frequently thinks of introspection on Tumors and Halitosis - and Raspootin certainly hopes the last word is spelled correctly given the bad breath meaning that was intended.
Raspootin would not want to mean disgusting - hello you are killing me everytime you are in my space and breathing breath - with umm a word that meant anything less... :)
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. ...and how was your day?
as an aside - this reminds me of a much funnier story told to me by a friend with regard to passing gas on a ride in Disney Land... but that is not Raspootin's story to tell - Still makes Raspootin laugh when thinking about it though...
Garland’s letter to the Who Dat Nation – a cool BREES a comin’!
WWL/Garland Robinette Reporting
I feel a COOL BREES a comin’! And, it doesn’t look like pigskin. When mother nature burns a forest she seems the devil. Animals are killed, treasures are destroyed and what was, is no more. But, she understands that in order to evolve to new and better, often times all present must become the past.
We celebrate today like never before. We have worked and sacrificed in nightmare visions in order to see this joy. But one day, this too will be a wonderful but distant memory. What we don’t celebrate today is something of which we are not aware.
There has been a change in our DNA. Our tremors, our tears, our fears have been replaced with steel. While the rest of the country runs from mudslides, urban flash fires and a world stopped by snow. While the world reels from sunamis, earthquakes and fear of war, we celebrate. We have little fear.
Why would we? What is mother nature going to do? Flood us? Destroy our homes? Kill large numbers of us? So what? We’ll just rebuild, cook better food, make our educational system the country’s best! We will always finish strong. We know, unlike the rest of the world, that we can replace horror with joy. We have proof that we can move from world sympathy to WORLD CHAMPIONS! We can make pigs fly and ice skate in hell!
And, a word for those who will still insist on holding us to the past. Without whites’ help, President Obama would not be in office. Without blacks’ help, Mitch Landrieu would not be in office. Our Vietnamese congressman watched the Who-Dats in the oval office with a black President…and our Indian Governor celebrated in Miami. For those who talk of shadow governments in order to tear us apart…you lose. You cannot tear steel!
For years we have been different for many of the wrong reasons. But now look for the rest of the world to hope to be different, just like us. We have been to war. They have not. We have not only survived but thrived. Whatever lies ahead, we know from experience that we will finish strong. There is a cool Brees a comin’....and WE DAT!
This will need an explanation for any of you who are not from New Orleans. There was a parade on Sunday in memorial to a local radio Sport Caster, Buddy D who was an icon for many, many years before his death. He said at the beginning of each football season that should The Saints ever make it to the Super Bowl he would parade down Bourbon Street wearing a dress.
Well not to let him down Bobby Hebert, a former Saints and Atlanta quarter back ( think the 80’s & early 90’s) decided to pay tribute to Buddy D by arranging a parade of Men Wearing dresses :) 80,000 people showed up in attendance with dresses in place.
The 610 Stompers are a takeoff on the young girls who dance and twirl batons during our traditional Mardi Gras parades – Have to say the 610 are without doubt more amusing to watch ! Now if they would have worn skimpy sequined body suits with fishnet tights – well that would have been priceless
